A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Am I losing my mind?I'm in a long distance relationship, and recently my boyfriend and I had an "air clearing" session so to speak. He's told me how he really doesn't like it when he can't get through to my phone and it really pisses him off when he can't get through. We have the Orange Magic number service where we can call each other as much as we like and often leave each other on the phone on speakerphone when we're chatting or studying so we can talk to each other like we're in the same room even though we're in different cities. I left the room to make a cup of tea and left him on the phone as I would barely be five minutes. I bumped into my house mate and got chatting... I was longer than I thought I'd be. I came back into my room and he'd hung up. I called, a little worried as I knew how much he was pissed off last time I had done that even though we'd spoken about it before... no answer... sent a message appologising... no reply... I called again... sent another message. In all I had called 5 times and left 5 messages, each one a little more frantic and appologetic than the last. He finally called back and it turns out he'd just gone to get some food... I felt like such a fool. Am I turning into an emotional wreck? Am I losing my mind?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): talking on the phone that long is when problems arise, because you are expecting to much from eachother, just call every few times, hang up, then call back, you dont have to always be connected on the phone ALWAYS. Trust me, some space is good in relationships, especial y in a long distance one.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 October 2008):
I think pork chop is half right... It may not have been on purpose that he went to get food, but it certainly gave you a taste of your own medicine.
If you need to go and do something then hang up and arrange to call back in 15 mins and then he's free to go and do something like eat or have a session on the loo.
Just be more organised and accept that some times you have to hang up for a while and do your own thing for a bit.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Mecca +, writes (19 October 2008):
Long distance relationships are more draining than your usual relationship but it seems as though you and yuor man have found some rhythm! Listen darling you're not being an emotional wreck, you're SO allowed to be frantic when you think your boyfriend's upset with you, especially if you know you were wrong!
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A
female
reader, porkchop.xo +, writes (19 October 2008):
I don't think you are losing your mind, and I don't think he was actually getting food, or if he was that wasn't the reason why he didn't answer the phone. You said you sometimes don't answer the phone, or you forget about him when you two are on the phone. Well he just gave you a taste of your own medicine. That frantic feeling is what he feels everytime you don't answer. I think you need to be more respectful towards him. If you don't have the time to talk then don't leave him on the phone waiting. Tell him to call back, or you can call him back, it's only polite. Really you two should set specific times when you know you are free and have time to talk to each other without distractions.
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