A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend likes watching porn on the internet.this upsets me.Am i justified in getting angry or is he just a pervert.?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): So I would like to know why Positionkiss thinks its no big deal that the writer is hurt by this surely her feeling are more important than the 'entitlement you imply for her partner to view porn. What about the issue of degradation (you do realise most female porn stars were sexually abused as kids dont you? ) What about the fact that women in porn are not chosen to accurately reflect real women and lead many men to have seuxal disfunction, What about the recent research that has shown porn viewing (even mild) reduces a mans attraction for his partner. Perhaps you should find out a little more about why many women rightfully object to porn before giving such bad advice.
To the OP...no your not wrong...we all get what we expect in relationships.we teach others how to treat us and there is not one reason in the world for you to be with a man who participates in the degradation of women and makes you feel bad.
There is a site that is well informed and consists of literally thousands of porst from people who have been hurt by porn (both users and partners of users. Perhaps check it out
http://lightwave.proboards48.com/
A
male
reader, Dr. Mark  +, writes (13 April 2007):
This is difficult to answer without knowing more details. Is this an obsession with him? Does he spend money on it? Every guy looks at porn. Anyone who claims not to is lying. But if he is obsessed with it, it could be a problem.
I suggest you watch look at it with him. Many straight women can be turned on by looking at beautiful or sexy pictures of other women. You might surprise yourself. It's very natural. There's lots of stuff on the net that is also plain gross, and hopefully he isn't looking at that. But give it a try, and be playful with him while you watch together.
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A
female
reader, PoSiOnKiSS  +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Any man in this world that has a computer will have looked and watched porn. You should just let him watch it and leave him be, its not harming you anyway, minus emotionally which is shouldnt do because there is no harm in watching porn, its just something men find attractive and something that turns them on. It doesnt mean that he doesnt find you attractive, its just a huge turn on for men to watch others have sex. Alot of women nowadays even own a few porn dvds, and its just something thats a huge turn on. Dont be angry, why not watch it with him and experiment a little? you may find it more exciting than you believe.
hope this helps x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): the fact he likes to look at porn is not unusual or unnatural and doesnt mean he is interested in others.You could even enjoy porn together, lots of couples do - doesnt mean they swing or anything - just turns them on.
If you find it a problem talk to him and let him know it bothers you, but dont go in guns blazing as he isnt doing anything perverted by viewing normal porn
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): Hi there
Anger is not a productive emotion for you or your boyfriend. I think your anger is a way of protecting your real feelings and that is that your boyfriend looking at other women sexually makes you feel inferior and second-best. You want him to exclusively direct his sexual desires on you rather on others. There is nothing wrong in this, but if you want to resolve this with your boyfriend, you do need to talk to him about your real feelings, rather than getting angry or considering him as a pervert as this will only make matters worse, won't it? Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him your feelings, and listen to his own feelings. He obviously has a need right now to look at pornography and you two need to come to a compromise if you want the relationship to get past this hurdle.
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