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anonymous
writes: Hi,I need some advice. I recently posted a letter asking about whether I was overreacting about my bf seeing/ meeting his ex gf without telling me. We had a discussion about it, he told me Ii had nothing to worry about, and he didn't tell me cuz he knew how I would react and thought it was just so unimportant that it wasn't worth the argument. He had only met her to give her post, as they used to live together. And he promised to let me know if he met her again and also told me that I could go along as well so I could see there was nothing to worry about.One week later he gave me his phone as he had a new one and I noticed he hadn't deleted his sent texts. I discovered msgs he had sent to a girl, there were several of them, not incriminating ones as such, though. He told me that she was a colleague of one of his business partners, who had put her in touch with my bf to ask about hotels in the area that we live. It turns out he met her he says for about 10 mins.I just feel this is wrong. After discussing this the week before I then discover he has done it again with someone else and worse still these msgs were sent while I was with him. I don't remember him texting so I'm guessing he was going out of the room to do it.I have been cheated on in the past and have told him that why this upsets me. He wants me to trust thim, but he isn't helping me to.I love him and I think he loves me, he says he does. We don't live together yet, but the has taken me on with 2 children and doesn't have any of his own, so I know he must see a furure for us and these meetings mean nothing.But how do I get past thi? It eats away at me, and makes me distrust him. He stayed at his brother's last night and cuz he didnt text me knowing I was upset about the earlier happenings I'm now wondering if he really was where he says he was!!See what I mean? I'm totally paranoid. Am I really over reacting or do you think I have a right to be upset. He isn't the cheating type and I don't for a second believe he would string me and my children along.What do you guys think? Thank you for reading this and I'm sorry its so long.k
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reader, sammi +, writes (25 March 2005):
The way I see it is that you are still struggling with the past. From what I have heard, he is scared to open up and tell you how he is feeling. My advice would be to get a babysitter and you and your boyfring go out for a meal and discuss all that is bothering you both. Not to forget that there are two people in this relationship and you both need to get things off your chests. Keep in touch and let me know what happens. Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2005): You are paranoid, but it's only love that makes you feel that way. He sounds as if he really loves you. Try and hold back a bit, Your mind is playing tricks on you. This guy as taken on your kids and men like that are few and far between. I know it's hard but you have really got to get over this. You feel this way cause you have kids and maybe you think this guy is too good for you, BUT you DO deserve this guy, but give him a bit of space.
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