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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Does a man just forget his wife after he finds a new woman, even when he knows he was at fault for cheating does he just forget his wife, after 18 years, I was good to him...Can he just forget me just like that...i fought for him back begged him, but he took it as if I was being a bitch to him and said he hates me...he has a mistress, am I pathetic hoping he still loves me...after a long marriage Hes the only man Ive ever known... :'(
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you LoveGirl...you are a sweetheart..I am trying to believe me..
I will be fine...I have many friends and family..
and this wonderful agony aunts..
Love Lisa
xo
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): hey girl, let it be
create your peace and mend your heart. he is not worth your tears.
LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes he will chose to forget me...and why I was mean to him when I found out about his affairs...yes he will forget the way I kept him financially able to do what he dreamed while I went without my dreams and material things,...Someday, the woman or women will realize what I put up with, its alllll good in the beginning, I now look at what I missed while with him..he will wake up one day when the woman he's with starts in on him about anything and he will compare her to me...how I pampered him...and now if he wants to eat or wear clean clothes or have a clean house he will have to do everything himself...He will realize just how "bad" he had it....He was pampered to the nines...I even ran his bath water for him...he will wake up one day....and cry tears for me...I know that for a fact....
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): i agree with aspects of Love Girl's answer. He will choose to forget you. Except for the annoying things about you that sent him over the edge.
He will need to remember all the bad times with you, to justify why he had to leave you, for his own self preservation.
And to justify his actions even further it is very likely he will talk to all and sundry
about any and every aspect of you, and your habits that irritated him. whatever
those things were. Men derive great enjoyment from a debrief with their friends and even new girlfriends, relaying things that might be better left unsaid.
Better to forget all about him and work out ways to embrace life, where he has no room in your thoughts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks LoveGirlfor clarifying that....I hope he doesnt forget me...I was his first love and he was mine...I know now that Fairytales dont have a happy ending..I hope he remembers our good times together, I know probably not..All the times with our babies..our times we cried for my sons health crisis...our financial problems..to walk away from a life that was filled with love, because of selfish needs of catching his youth..I hope that there are some moments that he does remember me.....just sometimes...like I remember him and still love him.....I will go on..and realize what was once a beautiful dream is now a nightmare..I have woken up, and will move on and survive...thank you for all the adviceGod Bless
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Sorry ,I should clarify. 'He will forget being with you'. He will choose not to remember you. He will only remember bad times and nit dwell on any good times. He will find fault and compare you two. This is sad bec yoiu gave him your life.
I am glad you are feeling better. Let your kids be. He did not only destroy you, he also destroyed their family unit. They are angry, hurting and want to have nothing to do with him. Only u and the kids are hurting and not him, so remember this when u start the rest of your life again. And you will....
LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you...for your advice...I dont believe he will forget me, we struggled to much...he treated me like a queen...everything I wanted he got me or it bothered him if he couldnt get it for me..many times I would not tell him, so it wouldnt bother him....I dont feel as lost as I did, maybe from all the support, or an inside built mechanism in my body kicking in to protect me from the pain....My kids want nothing to do with him, and I know this is going to hurt them in the future, but thier older, and wil not listen to me...I will be fine, and I hope who is in the same situation as me will find peace..Its not worth crying over someone whos not crying over you...Its the dream that we have for our family, that is destroyed....it is what it is...God Bless to you all...xoxoxoxoxo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): the simple answer is YES, HE CAN FORGET and he will not give a damn as to how much he has hurt you.
i will not lie to you. some men are just plain bastards and no matter how much wives want to only blame the mistress, their hbs are the tyrants.
Hun, he is not coming back. i dont know how else to put this gently. please do not watse more time waiting, hoping that he will leave her.
cry, scream, mourn the loss of your marriage but slowly please make peace. it is early days yet so i know you are hurting.
LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): I don't think anyone forgets someone they truly loved and spent a large part of their life with, unless they are completely selfish, narcissistic and emotionally bankrupt.
If you were good to him and the relationship was good overall there is no excuse for what he is doing. He does sound like a very selfish person.
I would just try to begin to grieve the loss and write him off as a lost cause. Be good to yourself, you deserve it.
If he comes back hopefully you will be with someone else by then and you will tell him it's too late now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Yes a person can walk out of a bad relationship and never look back because of the pain the felt all those years in fact they might want to return some of it women do that all the time if they is a child involed
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female
reader, impatientlywaiting  +, writes (22 January 2011):
Unfortunately, you can't make someone love you or want to be with you. Even if he would come back because you begged enough would that really be a happy relationship? It sounds like you need to move on and work on yourself. Try meeting new people for example join some sort of club, reading, sports, arts and crafts, animals...if you start filling up your own life, you won't be so hung up on him. He sounds like a schmuck anyways. It will probably be one of the hardest things for you to get over, but take care of yourself mentally and physically and he might just fade into the past. Don't give up on yourself, you have a lot of life to left to experience! Go live it with a smile on your face (even if it's a fake smile at first!).
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 January 2011):
 this is an incredibly horrible learning experience. But there really are people who can walk away without a single backward glance. Who can callously treat a person they once relied upon, as if the person is now dead.
In the circumstances never beg and plead to be taken back. The egg is broken. The genie is out of the bottle.
Reassess your life.
Get rid of all the clutter in your life
Spend a bit by staying at a weekend or 2 day mid week spa. Get fully pampered.
New hair style and cut.
Join a swimming club or a gym.
Join a joga class to relax.
Make a list of places/things you would like to See - in Canada and outside of it.
Pamper yourself completely
When you are feeling better and a little stronger join a sporting club or a community club where there is a spirit of goodwill where you can meet others (much less threatening than a singles scene)
Families do it to people in their own families all the time. Spouses do it to each other. Children do it to their parents. Parents sometimes do it to their children or children for all manner of reasons, that
they feel they can justify.
It is incredibly difficult.
But in the circumstances all people can do is move on in their lives.
The best revenge is not just moving on, it is instead in suceeding in creating the new life you need. And in succeeding
And when you meet new people DO NOT talk about your ex. It is a turn off to others
Good luck in your personal rejuvenation and renewal.
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male
reader, Doctor Heart +, writes (22 January 2011):
Well, not pathetic, but getting warm This man you profess to love...is there something lovable about a man who would abandon his wife for another woman? I think not. I believe you are viewing your position with your husband from the perspective of fear. Irrespective of his shinanigans, what about you? How do you feel about you? Are you strong enough to leave this relationship? Or do you want to keep going on with this anguish surrounding the antics of this "man" you are married to? I would leave now. I know it is difficult when you are emotionally tied to a person, especially long-term. But trust me. Leave this man to his own folly. You will do much crying and second guessing in the months to come. But, in time, this scenario you are in will be a distant memory. You will be amazed as to what you put up with when viewed in hindsight. Celebrate your new future without the clown.
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female
reader, soft2020 +, writes (22 January 2011):
 Hi anonymous, I know the feeling it nags at the heartlike heartburn and broken. I'm going through that feeling right now myself and it hurts! and sends awfulfrustration our way continuously. They tell us theylove us and we take it to heart the way we want toin our own way, men are not as forgiving as women are.Even if it wasn't your fault and didn't cause the break up to occur. My boyfriend was the one that causethe break up last Friday the 14th and now he won't callanymore, but part of it was my fault only because hecaused it. 20 years ago when we met we got together then lost track of each other last summer on my birth-day we reunited actually a little before my birthdayback in May, 2010 at that time he told me he alwaysloved me. We had problems off and on for the whole9 months we were talking because of his family, job,children, 8 grandchildren, father, his friends,death,drinking, and poor communication. There were no timefor me. I did everything I could do for this man Iwashed his clothes, cooked for him, stayed in the hospital by his side and gave him love the way I could and he turns his back on me unappreciated with anger.They do not know we go through all this pain afterthey leave us. The problem isn't us or the relations- ships they may have"Unresolved Emotional Issues"they may be unaware of and haven't faced or don't know how to to ask for help. Men have a harder time opening up to communication than women , your ex husband may have past "issues" from when he was a little boy growing up. He may had problems with his "parents" treating him cold! and ignoring him when he needed their attention, he may have been crying and begging them for their help and they may have yelled at him and told him to shut up! Example, "Cry all you want to son, crying is for sissies, i'm not paying you any attention!",he may have kept crying and was hit with a belt by his father. It is not his fault that he is ignoring you, his parents may have made him beg for attention as a little boy and maybe that is why he's making you beg for attention. Good parenting is veryimportant in the early developemental years whichmost of us was lacking as "little girls and boys". It ends up causing hurt later in our adult life. You may want to try some self help videos and books, they may help you to understand your ex husband's side of things and where your problems ly. "Are you the one for me", "Men are from mars and women are from Venus", "Act like a lady and think like a man", and "He or she is just not that into you". You may want to try and work on loving yourself instead of waiting around for him to come around and do it, that may never happen."For a man that loves me a lot and always did for 20 years sure is awful cold and distant!" I hope I was able to help shed some light on things.Take Good Care Of Yourself And Best Wishes.
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