A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We live 2000 miles apart! We met online. Well we talk everyday and have already told each we love and care about one another and talk about he wants me to move out there because of his building his practice. He just started at a new practice in his line of work and is a doctor there. Well it seems like his receptionist has a thing for him and his office staff is supportive of her crush. She told my boyfriend that a couple that came in told the other doctor who hired him that they (secretary and bf) were dating just to 'let him know'. He thought it was funny and laughed it off. The other person on his staff, the receptionists friend, told him that she would set things straight. Well he never heard this comment personally from either the patient or the doctor who hired him yet he assumes its true. Now he tells me that when they hired him the office manager on the staff showed the recveptionist my boyfriends picture and told her 'this is the new doc we're hiring. don't date him'. Again, he says he thought that was funny and said that the office manager (secretary's friend) told him the secretary had a 'history' but he didn't know what it was. He said he thought it was her past drug use? I highly doubted it. He told this office manager who showed the picture of my bf to this girl about me and she offered to lend her home to use when i come visit because she'd be out of town. That just annoyed me more because it makes it seem like she thinks i'm just a fling to sleep with. FYI I am a virgin and bf knows this. I don't take sex lightly. What also makes me doubt things now is that my boyfriend is busier than usual at this new job because of the amount of patients he now sees and hasn't talked as much about his work and his staff like he had at his other job. I think the reason is because of either guilt or because of other sex thoughts in his head. For ex. We have phone sex sometimes and now he told me that he wants me to wear a low cut cleavage baring shirt when i go see him and talked about how he wanted to touch and slip his hand down my shirt to feel my breasts and just talked more about my boobs when in the past he did not in our conversations. Now this secretary is young, blonde, and wears tops that show cleavage. I'm not blonde but dark haired with medium skin and brown eyes. Last time we talked he asked me how my hair was which I thought was weird and random. He asked if I dyed it again or added highlights. So now he is working at this office of just 5 people which is him, the other doctor and the office staff sometimes just him and the staff. They will have daily interaction and go on outings and do fun things together most likely. Since I saw his new secretary I had a bad feeling because she looks a little wild or crazy. Am I being jealous for no reason? Should I continue with him or just end it? I was planning to visit at the end of this month to meet his family. I feel that his office staff is already trying to manipulate feelings between the secretary and my bf and it's really bothering me. To add to that, he already added his whole office staff to his facebook. He told me about the secretary and office manager and I saw them on his facebook.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 September 2014):
 We don't know him other than the things he said here. There is a lot of office banter, games and politics now he's just getting used to. I find it hard that a man would talk online for 2 years, reveal his work life, all just for a little sex. He may not be aware of your insecurity but at the same time you want to hear more from him. Your phone conversation is all you have for learning about him. If you are close enough to think about marriage you are close enough to share your fears. Having sexual thoughts is normal. We can conclude from the bits and pieces of the story here that he is too casual and only care about sex but I struggle to see why 2 years of this effort. He sure is not lonely and has a life. He may have a preference for virgins and a certain race because of his religious faith and if it takes online and 2000 miles to find one he would do it. You still have to know him personally to see if the people at his work place are too mischievous or is there truth to what people say about him. Professionally he should keep his romantic relationship out of work but he has no choice because he has to prove his innocence to his boss so he revealed your identity.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014): Have you met this man in person? If not, take extreme care. He may not be a doctor at all.Quite frankly, I think he just wants to use you for sex. I think he's fascinated about the fact that you're a virgin and probably sees you as naïve. He may be stringing a lot of women along that he met online. Hopefully, I'm wrong, and he's who he says he is and wants to have a serious relationship with you. Please verify that he truly is a doctor before you hop on a plane to see him. If that pans out, you need to meet him in person and see how things go, see what kind of vibe you get from him. I highly suggest that you don't have sex with him until you two are married. As for meeting him in the low cut shirt...forget it. That was disrespectful for him to ask of you.
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