A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ive been friends with a guy for 8 years now. we've always got along well and flirted a little. when his 1st relationship ended 5 years ago we slept together but it went no further. then we had a couple of dates 2 years back but things got confusing. (neither of us are the type to come out and say what we want) he split with his most recent g.friend a few months back,we've been chatting again and he came round we had a fab time spent the night together,and some of the following day and now im confused again!!! we've text nearly every day but nothings really been mentioned about it...apart from we both had a good night. im thinking of throwing our friendship away as this confusion isnt doing me any good and i seem to end up liking him more each time.do you think he just see's me as a rebound for when his relationships come to an end. maybe im too easy for him!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for your feedback girlys,we had a chat last night and i got no real answers from him but we are going to stay friends and i wont be making the mistake again!!
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (28 February 2009):
Hmmm it doesnt sound like he could be using you. I mean, hes done it more than once, slept with you, and each time hes never suggested anything more?
I think that you need a clear answer though. So I really think you should ask him whats going on. Tell him how you feel, ask him how he feels about the two of you. Ask him if it was just sex or if he wants something more.
You need to find out, because if you continued to be used it will only hurt you more and more and more. So please, find out before you are in the same situation again.
take care
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (28 February 2009):
 This does sound like he turns to you when he is down and his ego is hurt. that doesn't mean however that he definately is using you. since you have been friends so long it would seem a shame to throw away a whole friendship. I think you should be honest with him, by phone, letter or in person ask him where you stand. Explain you feel like a rebound and that you want to know if it is going anywhere. then you will know where you stand, and you can then either have a healthier friendship (no sex allowed!) or maybe get a chance of being together if you decide that is what you want. good luck! x
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A
female
reader, silvermist3  +, writes (28 February 2009):
It doesn't sound as if he is tring to use you as a rebound. But my suggestion is, the next time he comes around just be a friend and don't sleep with him. The way he will act after that will tell you if he sees you as a friend.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 February 2009):
Yep, you are an easy lay when it all goes tits up with girls he actually likes.
If you care about a guy, you don;t have sex with them. If you have sex with them, they won't respect youfor it and will just use you for more of the same.
Surely you are old enough not to need to be told the first date rule?
Don't have sex with him till you are in a relationship.
To be honest though I think moving on might be the best thing in this instance. I doubt he's ever going to respect or want you as a girlfriend since he's been going off with other women and treating you as a rebound.
Good Luck!! xx
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