A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello , im in a relationship and a few months ago i found some tranny porn as well as him looking at craigslist for trannys. Also found emails replying to adds. Since the beginning of the relationship i noticed he wasnt like most men, ive always been with me who couldn't get enough of me and vise versa. I HAD a high drive for sex ...all the time any time! Even before i found all the emails and porn he just wasnt into me like that , i first thought it was me (to be honest I'm no model but im not ugly, i dont have a hard time finding men.) Then i find all this out and tought thats why he just wasnt into me that way . He finally admitted that yes he is attracted to trannys , and admits hes been with one. He said he received a bj and fucked the tranny. States he is still curious about it wants to go even further, and he wants to give a bj and be on the bottom. Well when he admitted these to me i tried to fullfill this for.him and bought a strap on. Well it didnt really help. He stil to this day , wont take steps to make love to me ... We can go weeks without any action in bed and it doesn't bother him... I feel im just a cover up and feel deep down inside he is really gay. I need some advise, i really have no one to talk to about this with out being judged.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (3 September 2012):
Hi there. It does seem like he is gay, by everything you have said here.
There seems no doubt much at all really.
I am also wondering why you are still with him, when he is showing more and more signs of wanting to be with transgender males and not with you at all much.
I honestly think it really doesn't have much future the way things stand at the moment, and it certainly doesn't give any hint of changing anytime soon, either.
It's not providing you with the type of relationship you would really want, and has virtually no intimacy at all, does it?
It does seem like it's time for you to move on - without him.
Have a chat with him, and be completely honest when you do, and just say that it's not working out and you see no future to it, and then wish him all the very best and walk away.
I believe that's your best move.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 September 2012):
 This really is a hard one. This is obvious a part of him that he has hid from people for whatever reason. As you said he does not make a move on you sexually, and he does not seem to care if you are both intimate or not, this suggests to me that you might be right. He needs to discover who he is and explore this other side to him, my guess is that all his focus and attention is getting used on thinking about this other side to him and how he can explore it. I think you just need to be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. Explain to him you are not happy being with someone who does not seem to want to have sex with you or be intimate. If you are not getting what you need from the relationship then I don't think this is the relationship for you.
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