A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Can someone please help? My fiance broke up with me citing jealousy issues, she was 4 years older than me with a child of 14 years. He recently went to a private school as he has special needs. Since then, it seemed that my Fiance found a new freedom and started going out drinking with her friends not just at the weekends, but during the week as well. It wasn't so much jealousy, it was the fact that while she was going out all the time, I was forced to stay in as I am in a poorly paid job with a lot of financial commitments. I tried to reason with her, eg, were engaged to be married, we should be spending time together rather that appart. It got to the stage where we both had a night out together twice in the space of 6 months, where as she was out with her friends twice or more every week. She would often ask her ex (the father of her 14 year old son) to baby sit. She would also get me to baby sit at the weekend, but instead of coming back to her own house where I was babysitting, she would stay over night at her friends house after being out clubbing until 3 or 4 am. There were times when I was jealous as she was a good looking woman, but is that not natural if your girl is going out clubbing until all hours of the morning and not coming home? Last week, she suggested that we try dating again, which we did. We met up and ended up sleeping together, it was amazing to be back with each other and I was looking forward to seeing her again. Unfortunately, I got drunk on the Saturday night and, while feeling sorry for myself, I sent her a txt message saying "Do you still want to meet up tuesday or will all your nights out change your mind".She has now responded to that by saying that it is now definately over.I love her so much and I'm devestated, she broke my heart by innitially breaking up with me, and now the pain is back all over again. What should I do? I'm at a total loss as to what I should do now. Should I accept it and move on or write a letter to her and try to explain and salvage the situation. Is she right that she should go out clubbing and have me baby sit, but we don't go out together or am I right in saying when you are engaged you have a commitment to each other and although you can still go out with friends and enjoy yourself independently, that you should still consider your partners feelings?
View related questions:
broke up, clubbing, drunk, engaged, fiance, her ex, jealous, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried to reason with her over the telephone when I received the txt, but she was not to be moved and eventually ended the conversation with, "lets just leave it, this is to annoying and painful" Then hung the phone up on my while I was trying to say anything to salvage us.
I can't beleive that after 3 and a half years together she could be so callous and cold. I realise I will need to move on, but life feels very sad and painful jusy now.
If love is such a wonderful thing, why does it cause so much pain?
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 It does not sound like this woman is ready to settle down and get married etc. She sounds like she wants to be out having fun with friends instead of being a mother and a wife. If I were you I would be releived that she started this behaviour b4 you married her rather than after you all got married and had anymore children. That would have been a even greater heartache for you and the children. Eventually she is going to wake up and realize how important family life is, hopefully it will not be too late. If I were you I would not wait around.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): and no you are not jealous of her. you are fed up of her, but to weak to let go.
...............................
A
female
reader, mallorie410 +, writes (12 November 2007):
Well my suggestion is this...
She is a grown woman, has a child and needs to stop 'pawning' her child off so she can party like she is 18! Its okay to go out occasionally; we all need to. But if she said yes to the engagement she had to know then that there are circumstances and guidelines. I would just let her know how much you care and explain to her that she has responsibilites other then stayin out to 4am while you are watching her child; then she dumps you for your honesty?? I wouldnt say she is cheating on you maybe just acting to immature. Id just go on with my life for awhile and she'll realize what a jerk she is being to you... Good luck!
...............................
|
