A
male
age
30-35,
*easonings90
writes:I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months an we have a good relationship she is a dancer an has been for about six months she says she hates her job an trust me when I say so do I!!!! We have known eachother for years she has been ingaged 3 times an we have always had feelings for eachother anyway my previous relationshiP was with my baby mom for 2 half years we have a 3 year old daughter an after all that time she cheated on me with a co worker an I now have trust issues I love this girl with all my heart but her job makes everything so hard but she also has a son an you do what you got to do to get by now I Don't really know if she is honest with me all the time like things she sometimes says just don't make sense or add up like stuff that goes on at her work she says she hates her job but talks about it like she don't recently we have been having little bit of problems like arguing over how I feel or am feeling she really does care how I feel but I know things have changed we still have sex Often like everyday but she is the type of person that has to have a rebound like the last time we split up I put us on a break an she ends up getting engaged 2 months later An when I found out she posted it on facebook she said she did it to make me mad or as a joke I'm not dumb But lastnight she worked from 6 to 11 an she was suppose to be at work at 5 mind you again she is a stripper an she has made drastic changes to her hair she is in cosmetology an goes to school for it but she did not really ask or care about my opinion an she even told me I was pushing her away by making her feel bad for sosmetjing she is not doing an she will ask me if it's okay to go to private party's which we all know what happens with strippers an private party's but lastnight when she got off work supposably she was actIng rather nicer than usual makin comments she usually don't make an exapecially after the two weeks we have had I mean has not been super bad just arguing alot she says I accuse her an think the worst of her I just want to know if I should be worried ??or am I really just being insecure ???my trust issues an insecurities from being screwed over so many times an I have never cheated on a girl before Im so loyal always have been but lastnight is really been on my mind and you can always tell by body language
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a break, at work, cheated on me, co-worker, engaged, facebook, insecure, split up, stripper Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Reasonings90 +, writes (21 May 2012):
Reasonings90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I realize it's time to move in on in my life and sometimes it's just not meant to be I have no morals in dating a dancer it's too much an I can't stand feeling 3 inchs tall she is unhappy with her life an Im just not the person she is interested in anymore It's hard and I do not want all my love for her to turn into hate an I have gotten so much better about being insecure an accussing I'm over it and don't deserve to feel this way I may be 21 an covered an tattoos but every human has feelings an a heart no matter who you are so if you feel somethings wrong in your relationship an you can't do nothin to change it JUST MOVE ON trust me take this advice if you do cuz I'm done!!!!
A
male
reader, Reasonings90 +, writes (19 May 2012):
Reasonings90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThings have gotten a little better but last night she worked an made no money she said we are both going threw some financial issues we all do I understand that but when your a stripper an make no money on a Friday night hhmmmm? Love is pain an I am doing my best to try an help but I'm currently in a struggle to find work my self so I do what I got to do an so does she but I'm stumped on what I should do about this its not like she was a stripper when I started dating her she was actually a supervisor at a telemarketing place an got fired for some stupid reason but it makes me feel bad cuz i want to be able to help but I recently got screwed over 4 grand not going to get into it but yea so I got to feel like this until things look up I'm hoping for the best an PReparing for the worst just sucks cuz illdo anything I can for her an right now I just feel im getting in her way of her making the money she desires
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 One minute you are in love and later you want to break up, because of a text? It depends on the message of the text. It's okay if: "Hi whaddup?" "It's hot today." or anything casual. Here telling him she has a boyfriend sounds a bit jumpy.
Not okay if:"Hi babe/sexy/princess." "Wanna kick a hack with me?"
That would be some red flag here. Right now I am not sure if you are overreacting or do you have justifications that she is flirting.
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A
male
reader, Reasonings90 +, writes (17 May 2012):
Reasonings90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAn I just now find out that someone she used to talk he randomly text her an I know she cant help that someone text her but the fact that she can't tell him she has a man an I don't want him textin her cuz he has no reason too it's called mutual respect am she throws the fact that my baby mom texts me about our daughter I hate my baby mom with a passion but I'm civil with her for the sake of our daughter an obviously she can't understand that cuz my girlfriend now has a kid an her baby dad has never been there for him so it's starting to seem like I'm going to keepy options open an if I have to do what I did to my baby mom an leave her dumb ass god some of these girls these days men too where are all the normal people in this world
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2012): Come on...lets get real here...she is a stripper, she is the center of attention to as many men who will watch her....and if she hated her job so much...why does she still work there? Is someone forcing her to do so? And saying it's for the tons of money she's earning....ya...sure.
You want to involved yourself with a girl like that, you are stuck with what a girl like that brings...nothing but trouble, trust issues (likely founded) and not exactly someone you want to bring home to Mom....
Let the relationship run it's course, or just move on now...you want monogomy, try looking for a women who is not in that industry in any shape or form, someone who has a respectable job and someone who respects themselves...this girl clearly does not.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (17 May 2012):
I'm just gonna be blunt here--she's a stripper and she's cheated on you in the past. You shouldn't trust her. If she "hates" her job so much then she can always start waiting tables and make tips that way instead!
Just go with your gut. If you feel that something is "off" or "wrong" then there probably is something wrong. You seem like a nice guy, you could probably do better.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 May 2012):
You are somewhat insecure but this insecurity is just to protect you if something goes wrong. If you have trust issues then a stripper surely is not a good fit for you. You need security and stability in a relationship and she is not giving that to you. She is on the wild side and is attracting temptations every day. She is just waiting for the right moment when you pushed her too far so she could blame things on you and not take responsibility for it.
You have made your point again and again that you don't want to be cheated on. The fighting and splitting up is not going to make her more loyal to you. You just have to wait it out and let time pass by, so you can see the real person she is. Worrying is not going to do any good and it is just magical thinking that being vigilant is going to stop any mischief. If she does cheat then it's her moral integrity and not you, and it's not because she needs to support her son either. It's the impulsiveness that hurts the relationship more so than the job. Like the fighting and splitting up then getting back together again. You've known her for years you still picked her knowing of her profession. Your past relationship does not give you the license to interrogate her every day to the point of arguing. If you do not treat a new date like an average person you could trust, then perhaps you are not ready for a relationship. Being in a relationship with a stripper means that you accept the risks. I am not saying you have to accept her at all. I think it is quite immature to joke about getting engaged on facebook to make you mad. It makes you question if she could ever be serious about anything. Without trust there will be no relationship. There is no trying to trust or trying to get over fear and insecurity. It's totally fine if you decide you can't accept her profession. It's not close minded at all. But don't get mad at her and question her every day if you want to be with her.
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