A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About 2 years ago in sixth form, there was this girl that i liked. She was part of our group of friends. I slowly began to develop a crush on her and towards the end of sixth form, around january of our final year, i confessed my feelings for her. She of course said that she was flattered and that we were just friends. She then said that we should keep it between us. After saying this, she went and told all her friends about it and they all spread rumours about it and laughed. I was ok with this as i'd been rejected before i just didn't expect her to avoid me as if i was carrying Ebola or something. It was also retarded of me to expect something to happen. Anyway as time went on she'd avoid me completely and i felt very hurt by this. When we'd all sit by the table she wouldn't even look at me and she'd try and sit as far away from me as possible. We'd avoid eye contact and wouldn't even speak whenever we walked past each other. I've never spoken to her since she began avoiding me except last christmas when she messaged me on facebooked and i abused her and told her where to go. She of course deleted me.During that same time after she rejected and avoided me i developed a "crush" on a dead celebrity. I'm not gonna say who it is, but yeah i really, really liked her. I downloaded loads of pics of her from the internet and would stare at them dreamily. I'd imagine that she was my girlfriend and we'd go dancing and kiss all the time.I even became very depressed because of this. I remember just laying in my bed once for so long and feeling like i've never ever felt before in my life. I was just incredibly sad and my head would hurt. Everything sounded cloudy. I even imagined that we'd gotten married and everyone was happy for us. The sadness was exacerbated by the fact that sixth form was coming to an end and i had no friends or any plans for the future. I was suffering from social anxiety and my depression also kicked in because of that girl.Two years later the depression was too much and i'm now on medication and slowly becoming normal and trying to figure out my place in the world. So am i insane or something? I don't have a crush on that celebrity now. That passed a long time ago. I still get really insane thoughts such as no woman or girl could ever love me and that it's not possible for a woman to love a man and that women only like men who are rich (yes i know how crazy that sounds) I sometimes find myself hating girls because i know that they'll reject me as soon as i even speak or let them know that i like them.So i wanna know. Am I insane for having a crush on a dead celebrity, and why did the crush develop?
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (14 February 2011):
 You have depression, that's not being insane, but your head don't think straight. Thinking no one will ever love you, well that's part of the depression, that's the negative thinking kicking in.Your on medication, good.. but you need some counselling, CBT (Cognative Behavioural Therapy) if possible. It will help you stop falling in love with dead people, it will help you challenge this negative thinking, it will help you make healthy plans to have a happy future. Start thinking about college, or social groups or places where you can meet nicer people. Do you have hobbies or go to sports gyms, again they are very protective for your mental well being.Please go ask your doctor about counselling and then the counsellor will explain about the love for the dead celeb. I can see negative talk, every where in your post, and if you don't learn how to change this, then you will suffer with depression anytime bad things happen in life. Negative thinking makes depression even worse, positive thinking help to protect against the illness.
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 I think it was a form of protecting your heart from further rejection and pain. Having a crush on a Celebrity, whether dead or alive, is safe.
The will never hurt you, make you angry or disappoint you!!
We all hate and fear rejection. You are young and have so much life in front of you. You will meet someone eventually who will love you for who you are. That celebrity crush will go away then!
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