A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It's taking alot of courage to write this, but basically i've recently started university, and a few months ago i began talking to this one guy on my course. He's the same age as me and we have similar interests. Since then i've grown to be his friend, best friend and now i'm in love with him. This is the first ever guy thats made me feel this way, i know i'm bi and four of my closer friends do too, besides that i'm still secretly hidng it.I have no idea what the best plan of action is, i've talked it over with those friends that know and we've got small plans that might give some hints to his sexuality. He maintains that he is 100% straight, but then so do i around people who don't know i'm not. I basically have and still do fake the same reaction he does to anything gay. There are little things that he says and does that suggest he may share the same feelings towards me as i do to him, he's exceptionally comfortable around me, and at points it's almost as if he is trying to tempt a gay reaction out of me. If it wasn't for the fact that i do the same stuff he does at sexual matters i would believe he is straight, but the comfortableness and sometimes hypocritical reactions i get out of him suggest otherwise. Could this mean he is secretly bi too? or am i just getting my hopes up?He has unfortunately left the course, which devastated me and i cried everday for two weeks afterwards, but i still keep in close contact with him and speak to him practically everyday, he's almost always happy to hear from me. If it's possible could anyone suggest ideas that might tempt a response from him? Last thing i wanna do is break the friendship i already have with him, as it's something i truely treasure, but i also don't wanna miss out on something that could have been by not doing anything. Please feel free to ask questions, i'll try and answer, help if you can, and if anyones been in the same situation where the person did love you back, i'd love to hear from you especially. Thankyou in advance.
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female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (2 February 2009):
 Well, if you guys are friends, I'd say honesty is the best policy. If he's any kind of friend, he won't care if you're gay, even if he doesn't share your feelings and/or sexuality. The best thing to do would probably be to just get out that confession first...I wouldn't tell him that you're gay AND that you're in love with him all in one conversation, it might be too much.
If you tell him, it may give him the courage to confess to you if he's gay. If he's not, then at least he knows and you've been honest with a friend. I know this seems like a scary thing to do, especially not knowing how he will react. I know you're worried about losing the friendship, but do you really want to be friends with someone who's not ok with who you are? To change for others is to lie to yourself, so if he's the best friend you say he is, he'll be nothing but supportive. And with any luck, he'll return your feelings. :) Hope this helped.
masq
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