A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I had a horrible break up with my ex boyfriend for almost 2 years months ago. It was like a few days after my birthday he broke up with me so imagine how long it took for me to start pulling things back together. So during our time not speaking to each other he replaced me with this other girl not soon after, even though he told me "It's not like I'm planning on finding someone anytime soon". They broke up eventually and I started seeing someone even though our relationship is a little one sided and slow. But he really is a wonderful guy who is providing even when I don't ask him for stuff. The problem is, when it comes to expressing feelings it's something we sorta have to work on.But UGHH I hate myself so much how I can't get ex out of my head. He started getting in contact with my not too long ago and I can't believe I agreed to even be friends with him on facebook. At that time I thought I was taking a mature step in putting the past away but later on it only had me thinking and then hurting because deep down I know I haven't forgotten about him completely :'( I feel weak and pathetic, I even had the nerve to even think that maybe someday we'll pull through... ughh. I see his updates sadly so I know he is seeing someone again and it somehow hurts me a bit, but doesn't surprise me anymore. I can't be his friend in real life or facebook because even when we spoke to each other in person it's like I'm nothing, not even a friend. Moving on just became a problem again because I deep down I also feel like I'll never find anyone like him again.I want to... delete everything of him, online and on my phone. But I feel like I'll regret it later on and I'm doing something stupid because he basically tried to resolve something.. right?
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Nothing says you have to be friends with an ex. A couple of months ago, me and my ex broke up~ it was mutual due to uni's and stuff, but to get t truely get over him i blocked him out of my life entirely- deleted/took down all his photos, hid all the things that reminded me of him/what was his such as a hoodie and deleted him off facebook/msn. i haven't talked to him since. I told him after we decided to break up though that i would have to do these things, and that i don't hate him and i might be able to be friends with him again in the future, but if it was all still there then i would never been able to get over him. In a few months time i might re-add him, but to get over someone properly its best to completely take them out your life for a while at least :)
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 November 2011):
 I think taking a break from him is a very MATURE decision. Some exes stay friends... some exes are exes for a reason, and that reason means a friendship just can't happen. That's totally okay. I'm friends with some of my exes, and there are some I have zero contact with. I don't know where they are, what they're doing, anything. There's just no friendship there. And those are relationships that ended badly or that I couldn't get over. Being around those exes only makes it more painful and toxic for you.
So I think a wise decision would be to quietly exit him from your life and live an independent life beyond him. It will be much healthier for you and you can take the time to clear your head.
If you really want a friendship, you're going to have to distance yourself and disconnect from him while you get over him and what happened between you. Until you are completely - and I mean COMPLETELY - over it, a friendship will only be hurtful and move you backwards instead of forwards.
Good luck, sweet!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): No your not being immature to not want to be friends with your ex. Some people can be friends with their ex, some can't (I am one who can't) and who doesn't want to. The mature thing to do is to do what is right to you. If it hurts you to be his friend, then delete him and move on. You need to look after you, and if that means deleting everything of him, then that is what you need to do.
I don't think he tried to resolve anything really, he is just the type who can be friends with his ex, you aren't. It is over between you both, so you need to do whatever it takes for you to move on completely. Good Luck
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