A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 18/f hes 19/m i apologize in advance cause its really long but i figured you'll need as much info to help with the situation;The last 4 months i have become really close with a guy i consider my best friend. I know as cliche as it is, but ever since i was little i told my mum "i want to find the boy version of myself" and i believe 100% that he IS the boy version of me. We both have commented in the past how amazing yet scary it is how much we're alike. seriously even little things and mannerisms of ours are the same, stuff that no one i've ever even met before does. I've never had a boyfriend due to how 'different' i am. I've had plenty of opportunities but i wanted to wait and save myself for someone special. I wanted to find a guy that loved me for my differences, perhaps even be as much of an oddball as me :) But with all my bad luck with past guys it seems as if he's almost too good to be true. which makes me hesitate and want to give up, just purely because it hasn't worked out for me at all in the past, why would everything suddenly work out now? But anyway, in the four months that we have been extremely close, we have texted everyday (not as much nowadays unfortunately :c) anyways he lives about an hour away from me and only recently got his license so it made it difficult for us to meet up before hand due to neither of us having licences...but when we did meet up, even if we only saw each other for a little bit, it would be instant sparks. One time when we met up at a club we were both extremely drunk, and for the first time he kissed me. (we have talked about wanting to kiss each other before, but he's scared of ruining things, as am i) the rest of the night we held hands everywhere we went, and he was constantly cuddling me. we spent 10 minutes just holding each other, we looked like a couple and it felt so natural with him. however i had to leave early. I was so certain that perhaps he had been feeling the same sort of feelings i have, i mean he risked the kiss. Then a couple of days later he texted me saying he wanted to facepalm *basically means he wants to die in a hole sort of feeling like "oh why did i do that"* and i asked him why. he told me that his friends told him he kissed one of his friends that night i met up with him. the same night he kissed me. he started freaking out being like "you saw it didnt you!" and started worrying i saw him kissing this other girl. i told him i didnt, and asked him if remembered ANYTHING else from that night. he told me he remembers walking ages to get home. I then told him that he also kissed me that night, before he kissed his other friend. (i was upset to find out he kissed someone else that night too, doubted that he actually does like me) but then he said something interesting. He started apologising for kissing me and he said to me "totes facepalming...that kiss wasn't meant to happen yet! ." he then texted me to tell me to ignore that last text..and then he texted me again saying. "i'll tell you what i meant by that text one day". so of course i was confused, what did he mean by 'that kiss wasnt meant to happen YET" like he was planning something special for our first kiss or something (thats what i hoped for anyway) because i couldnt make any sense of it. so anyway i continued on, us getting on great like per usual. however i would always keep doubting that he could possibly like me too. So i just kept my feelings bottled up. Once he got his license he made much more effort to come see me and whatnot. He makes me feel so special when im with him and stuff, he shares songs with me and stuff that no ones heard (hes lead singer in local band) and he even let me listen to his bands new ep before ANYONE else. He tells me all his secrets except for when it comes to the 'mystery girl' he likes. Anyway, again i've been hearing more of this "ill tell you one day" business. he told me he thinks he may have found the one... i asked him if he would tell me who, and he says "ill tell you one day". Even the other night he told me to listen to this song called pulse-hit the lights, because its EXACTLY how he feels right now, and i commented asking him if it was a good or bad thing, he said "both, the lyrics are just a big impact. ill tell you someday =]" I spent 10 hours with just him the other day and it was amazing to say the least. and he told me he was filming me when i was playing his computer game cause i "looked so cute i just had too!". he says things like this and whatnot but hes very hot and cold, it gets me really really confused. cause part of me thinks he feels the same way i do...that im special... but then sometimes he gets me thinking the complete opposite. His other best friend, also a girl, is MADLY in love with him, and he keeps assuring me he doesnt like her. and that he thinks shes annoying and he doesnt see a future with her, but that doesnt stop me worrying that ill lose him to her. He keeps talking about his 'mystery girl' that he likes at the moment, i keep wishing that I am his mystery girl but i honestly dont know :( he freaked out when he found out that i read what he wrote about her... how he likes her, thinks shes amazing and wants to be in a relationship with her, but isnt ready and is torn. he absolutely freaked when he found out that i saw it, and he got really embarrassed. now im stuck in the awkward "i dont know where i stand with him" phase....does he like me? am i the mystery girl? even if i am will anything actually happen between us? should i just get over him? im just so so confused :( im seeing him again sometime this week...but i just dont know what to think!
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best friend, drunk, kissing, never had a boyfriend, spark, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 "Nope, not that I remember." Well, he said he didn't remember kissing you. That doesn't actually eliminate you from the running.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for the advice 3 however it seems that its not working out in my favour. someone asked him if hes kissed the girl he likes yet. he replied with "nope! not that i remember! haha" we have kissed when we were drunk once... so i guess im not the mystery girl after all.
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A
male
reader, helpOut.GuY  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 wow sooooo long .... lol anyways, i think that you are the mystery girl . why? well i once had a female best friend , and i said it was not her. tho she was. ASK him where you stand. explain how you realy feel. put yourself out there.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 April 2011):
Hmm, if I had to guess, I'd say yes, you are his mystery girl. Especially with the time you've been spending together, and talking, and generally connecting. I had a crush on a close friend for a long time. I always played out different scenarios in my head about how I'd tell her. One of them was the "mystery girl."Me: So, I've met this really great girl. I think she's everything I've been looking for.Her: Really? That's awesome! Who is she, do I know her?Me: Yeah, she really makes me feel amazing. She pushes me when I need it. She gives me the confidence in myself to believe I'm capable of anything. She makes me want to be more than I am just because. She's incredibly special to me.Her: And I know her? Are you sure I know her?Me: You know her better than anyone else. (said while looking into her eyes followed by going in for that magical first kiss)Ahhh, memories of things that never were...You know, sometimes in life you have to make a move before the moment passes. If he takes too long, then he may miss his opportunity, because you're starting to really question things, and the direction this relationship is going.You can try a couple different things to find out. One would be talking about it. Tell him how you feel about him, and ask him if you're this mystery girl. Be direct, honest and open. It will be hard, and intimidating, but laying your cards on the table is the only way to get the other person to reveal their hand (sorry for the poker analogy, I hope it made sense). The other thing you could try is the next time he talks about this mystery girl, you get upset. "Fine, it's obvious you'd rather be with her, so why don't you just be with her and quit USING me!" Of course, this would be almost guaranteed to illicit some sort of response, but just what, it's hard to say. Plus, it's manipulative, and I'm not a big fan of manipulation tactics. Still, I'd be getting really sick of hearing about this mystery girl if I were you.Honestly, the only reason he's talking about her to you is because you and her are one in the same. I'm about 90% sure of that. The reason I'm so sure is because guys don't talk about other girls they like to girls unless they have zero interest in them sexually. He's obviously interested in you, so that's why I believe he's referring to you.Good luck, and I feel for you.
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