A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I need a lot of advice. I am good for an afternoon and then I get sad again. I broke up with my ex of 6 years and after 3 miscarriages. I now have a beautifull 15 month son. I will graduate in March with my Masters degree. I have a very close family, try to volunteer, donate money. And no one seems interested in me. I am 34. What else can I do? I want to be in love...like my mom and dads for 40years and my brothers for 15 years....Am I going to die a lone.
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broke up, money, my ex Reply to this Question Share |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): My wife felt the same way, was divorced from a terrible marriage that took place way to young, had lots of relationships that never went anywhere (nobody would consider her marriage material apparently), thought she would be alone forever, tried to reconcile to it with counseling, thought she would never had children and had accepted it.
Then she met me, out of nowhere; I fell for her quickly (and I don't fall easily), she had a birthday (30th), I asked her to marry me shortly thereafter, at 30 years of age she was happily in love, married, pregnant, a mother, and couldn't believe it. That was nearly 20 years ago, we have 4 children, and I feel like I won the "Best Prize" in marriage at the fair.
My advice, go do things that you like, obviously you will need a baby sitter, but activities that are group activities with people of all ages. Live your life and do the things that you enjoy.
You may not meet the person of your dreams, but you may meet their sister, their brother, their son, their mother, you get the point.
My brother has never had children, but lives with his spousal equivalent who has children.
A
female
reader, Tbosse +, writes (15 December 2010):
No, you wont die alone. You gonna find your soulmate and be happier.goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank you for all your advice. I just know how I am going to meet anyone. I've never been much of a dater. I don't have any friends where I live (I work in outside sales. I'm a guys girl....love sports, but know how to wear a dress. I would like to find out what I did wrong. I rty to be adventerous in the bedroomand nothing happeneds. Any place I can hang out (preferably not bars ....being single is a little vreepy. Suggestions?
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (15 December 2010):
One of my friends thought the same as you, until she met the guy who is now her husband at 38. Anything can happen.
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A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (15 December 2010):
Theres a saying, there's somebody for everybody and it's true! It sounds like you've been through a lot with your previous relationship - all those unfortunate miscarriages are bound to have taken their!
Rather than concentrating on what you don't have, it's a good idea to look at what you do actually have in your life. Your son, a close family, a roof over your head and an education for starters!
Being desperate for a relation ship leaves you in a very vulnerable position and attractive to all of the wrong types of person. What you really need to do is work at enjoying life as a single person BEFORE you start looking for somebody to love or love you. Right now you have highs and lows and your perception of your situation is making things worse, not to mention the fact that men do actually pick up on desperation and tend to run a mile when they sense it!
Spend some time rediscovering you and what you rally want/need before searching for Mr Right. Nobody knows what's around the next corner so for all you know, he could pop up anytime. Dedicate your time to enjoying and appreciating what you have so that when the right guy does show up, you're in good shape rather than being down and miserable. It will make all the difference, trust me.
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