A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want to get to the point- ever since I was 9 years old I have always wanted to be around people - I hate being alone and most people; the ones that know me well say that I'm never satisfied and I'm never happy. lately I feel like the rug has been pulled hnder me and life has hit me in the face. I hate my job- I work so hard I have these degrees and there is days when I just can't stand to be in there- my love life is just non existence - men have taken advantage of my niceness and I don't know if real genuine love exists- my friends are all users and just as miserable as I am . My family is so judgejemental- my mother has lived her life "according to society" and is just plain dead inside. She has been in an unhappy marriage for 31 years and seems to only care about my job my husbad what kids I'm gonna have all the exterior crap. I feel so empty - I feel so lost - there are days where I just want to dissapear - or be high on Xanax so I can't feel anything . What is wrong with me? I obviously love life and I've gone to therapy for years now but I just feel overwhelmed by these emotions - I have this need to escape - I try to go out to not think - I try to find love to get these emotions down- god why am I so unhappy why can't I just be normal and be happy that I'm healthy and people like family love me? Does anyone have tips Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 Maybe you should change your therapist as it should not take years to over come the issues you have. Also could you maybe see your doctor or a psychologist? Being this negative could be a personality disorder or some trauma you suffered as a child. I mean why from the age off 9? What could have happened before that? Why is 9 stuck in your head?
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (27 February 2017):
Happiness begins with you sweetie .. I read your post and just want to say here sit with me have a cuppa and warm blanket while you tell me all about it ..
How was your mum at 9 with you ? Did you get cuddles and feel loved or did mum think you were getting bigger so you didn't need them ?
How is your relationship with your mum other than her wants and demands. Let's box them for.a moment and just look at you two .. do you laugh .. gossip nicely or like tell her the news .. go out together shopping. ?
These are too me kinda important as normal when we feel truly bonded we are able to become independent as we see ourselves not only as a part of something but as a whole and we can be on our own knowing that we can make our way back to the base for nourishment and love that we need ..
Do you feel you have that ??
I would say go and buy yourself a very pretty jotter doesn't have to be expensive just what you feel looks good to you .
Every day write 5 things you are grateful for .. 5 things that made you smile .. like you heard a bird sing .. isn't that a blessing .. the sun shone on your desk .. someone held a door open or smiled back at you when you grinned like a looney .. happiness isn't just a feeling it's a state of mind .. to feel it you must be open to have it in your life .. you must fake it until it feels right ..
So smile at people tomorrow and see how that goes . . Wait and see if they smile back .. some may not .. but a lot will .. if your standing and you smile and they smile say hi make small talk not a lot just isn't it cold or warm etc and then leave it at that unless they continue the banter ..
Learn to be still and peace with yourself .. a mediation book and yoga book will help ..
Be kind to yourself and there no hurry on love and the men who used you weee fools sweetie if they couldn't see how amazing you are .. as for friends make new ones if they too are users .. do some charity work .. it may take effort but will also get you doing something different ..
Answer only what you feel comfortable with .
Chin up
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2017): Mid life crisis usually happens when one reaches their late 40s or 50s not in your 20s . It sounds like you may be depressed. Have you considered seeing a therapist . Having someone to talk all this through could make a huge differnece
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