| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i am really confused, i only fancy gay or camp men, i only watch male gay porn, but women sometimes really turn me on, is it because i like what they are doing or because i like them? can i ever be straight if i cant fancy straight blokes? there are all sorts of blokes out there, maybe i could be happy with a bi guy?? i dont think i could ever be in a gay relationship, i would never compare to her and i dont think i'd like the sex, although its a real fantasy of mine to be with a girl, maybe just for one night so i could tell? dont think id ever have the guts to go get her though, about 2 years ago i really thought i was gay but guys REALLY turn me on, only its only gay guys, what do i do? a friend of mine who only likes gay guys is gay, am i?
View related questions:
gay porn, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): i again posted the original message, i tried to forget about it all and busy myself with uni, and i was doing ok until i went out last night. it was disco night in a 'straight' club i go to, never before had i seen gay men in a straight club, it really was fun to watch them, although i have no idea why. i confided in a friend of mine and she said she had the same problem a while back, she says it could be cause if they are off limits then I think they cant hurt me, I think deep down my problem is insecurity and that carries over to my love life. If then they reject me im not hurt as its not a personal rejection, its just their preferences. Right now my feelings is that im curious about women but deep down I don’t think I could ever actually go through with being with a woman, I mean im the first to shout about gay rights, im not at all homophobic but part of me does worry what my friends and family would think, if I only had to worry about me then I might very well go through with it, the other part of me says I hate my body so much maybe my desire is to be like them not actually with them? Honestly I don’t think im emotionally ready to be with a bloke, what I do know is that I really want a boyfriend, someone who loves me, repects me, treats me as I deserve but not being sexist, at what point do I find a guy who I can trust not to go blabbing behind my back to his mates? I mean im sure I would tell my female friends with we got up to so why shouldn’t he? But then I have the problem of what his friends will think of me? All the sweet guys who seem to be thoughtful are gay, I don’t trust men, not after what happened before, I loved him and he threw it back at me, told one of my mate’s what I said, that was deeply personal and he shouted it from the roof tops, that hurt me, I think im scared of getting hurt, id love a bi guy, but would I get jealous? Probably…I just cant seem to find a guy to have fun with, id love a straight guy but I cant find one, what is with me liking much older men? If they are older are they wiser and not so much immature as to hurt me? As to your question on porn, I should have been a bit clearer, I love watching any kind of porn, except fetish stuff, whether it be gay or straight and watch and enjoy it. The only reason I don’t watch so much straight porn is because I like the women in it and sometimes it drives me insane how much fun I have watching her so I don’t watch it as much, maybe I want to be her? Maybe I want my man to be him? I dunno, I don’t feel in any way intimidated by her, im just really like her as well as him, straight guys watch straight porn, what do they think of the guys in it? I watch 2 types of gay porn, the first being just kissing and soft stuff, the other type being full hard porn. the soft porn I think I just like the guys having fun with themselves and the kissing, the hard porn I dunno sometimes I don’t wanna see the full details. I like the guy getting laid’s reactions and maybe its just being greedy that I like seeing 2 guys having sex, I mean I love guys in straight porn too, I like her reactions to him but do I like her? Thinking about it for a minute I still really love watching both guys together. I love kissing a guy, there something so brilliant about it but I find it very hard to pull, they say being sexy is confidence but as a slightly larger women, I find that hard. I don’t particularly like my body, but I have curves I love and would never want to lose, the problem is all the bullying I suffered nearly all my school life, my biggest role model is a BI guy and I love him to bits. As he would say I just want a guy to love me for the entire person that I am, good, bad or indifferent.I seem this guy that hurt me badly on Saturday last and I fancy him more than ever, I know he would never treat me right and we are so wrong for each other but I think I love him, the other guy I fancy isn’t interested but I know he’s straight. I just want to find a straight guy who loves me for me. I just wish I knew how, love is the greatest gift you can not ask for it but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it, and the sex he will offer me, I have other issues though, I want sex but I don’t know if id want him to have some sort of control over me, as for as far as ive went with a guy, lets just say using the 4 f’s method of bases, French, feel, finger, f**k, he had me on 3rd base. I would never have a one night stand with a guy, and I was very very drunk when this happened in a club. I liked it a lot, he was having his fun and me mine, it never felt like he had power over me, I just felt good, like we were equal, almost like I had a power over him as he wanted me and I was in control of if he could have me. Part of me thinks that I shouldn’t enter into a relationship not knowing what I want, but as a virgin I don’t want my first time to be a one night stand, but how else will I know what I want? I know I straight guy could make me happy but for how long, I could never give up my fun with myself for him…is that selfish?I also once indulged in sex talk with someone, a man, on msn, I loved it so much but he rejected me after than one night, it was one of the most fun nights of my life, the last thing I love watching is boy/girl anal sex and golden showers, Iv also watched some dp stuff and liked that, maybe im just too open minded for my own good :P Right anyway, this post is getting like a book, the more I think, the more I get so confused so im going to do some uni work now, thanks for all your help.
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (17 December 2006):
 Can I offer a little advice on this one, just from my own personal experience. I love an overtly camp bitchy gay man. I also love tranvestities like Eddie Izzard and Franknfurter from the rocky horror show. Then on the other hand I love Robert Downey jr, val Kilmer and the guy who plays Tony Soprano....mmmm, do I worry? I have had some 'dalliances' with women and it also worked for me at the time.
You have to go with your feelings and not pigeon hole yourself. Your confusion is because you are young and inexperienced. There is a whole big world out there. Go explore and have fun doing so....safely.
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, forgetmenot +, writes (14 December 2006):
 well maybe you could enjoy a relationship with a bisexual guy in the future but right now it sounds like maybe it'd be best not to pursue anything til you've sorted out what you want a bit more. What do you find off putting about straight porn that you don't find in gay porn? Is it the way the women are treated? Or are you indimidated by the fact that there are often pretty women? What is it about the gay porn that turns you on?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): thanks i posted the original question, i disagree a professional is only going to ask what do i feel, thinking in a clearer light today ive realised i do actually fancy some really straight guys, maybe in scared of a relationship and think a gay guy wont be able to hurt me as much, im gonna have some fun see where life takes me, in answer to your question yes i think the reason i find girls attractive is maybe because they know a woman's body better, so can a well trained man ;)
i think i worry too much
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (10 December 2006):
 Hard to tell, difficult situation here. As for your fantasy with girls, do you think maybe its because they will know how to pleasure you sexually better than men who know the female body less? That's the first impulse that i got. Anyways, I think the best course of action here is to think about this question, and then after that, stop thinking. Stop thinking helps sometimes, just accept whatever, maybe you'll find out later without stress. Watching gay porn means you like watching men... just like how men like to watch lesbians do sexy stuff to each other. Although i hate that you say you only like gay men, i don't think this has much significance, a lot of girls like gay men, and i don't think all of the people you think are gay are all "gay". BTW do you like clay aiken? *shudder*
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): I don't mean to beg off, but you really need to consult a professional, please seek the help of a Phd Psychologist, I think Behavioral or Cognitive Behavioral Psychologists are the most effective, they can really help you get to the bottom of these issues. No insult to this site or anyone on it, but the nature of your question is far beyond the skope of an agony aunt, they are simply not qualified to help you with as difficult and important of an issue as your sexual orientation, they can offer you an opinion, but the price of their advice is the worth of of their answer on this complicated issue.
...............................
|
