A
male
age
36-40,
*enthilvlsvkm
writes:Friends, Need a suggestion from you friends, Im from India aged 28 and getting married to a girl who is 26 in 2 months. From the date of my engagement im worried about my length of my penis, When erect its 5.2 to 5.5 inch. When i measure from pubic bone it is close to 7 inch (a doctor told me to measure from the bone which is the actual length), When flaccid its about 2.87 to 3.5 inch varying. When I do some exercise or Walk my penis becomes very small about 2 inch. Am I FIT and can I get married?? the thing which struck up in my mind is that "I'm not be fit for marriage or this is a kind of cheating the girl and girl's family" who believed in me.This is not allowing me do my daily works even, Please help. I will be thankful to you. My penis circumference is 4.9 inch.
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (20 May 2015):
 Being FIT to be married is about far more things that are way more important then penis size.
As has been explained to you - your penis size is NORMAL. Any fretting about the completely NORMAL size of your penis is just demonstrating that you appear to be suffering a high level of ANXIETY and for this you need to seek out a counsellor.
Have you suffered anxiety about other issues in your life? Has anxiety made life difficult for you in the past?
If YES, then get some counselling as soon as possible for that anxiety.
How would you describe your own level of SELF CONFIDENCE? If it is low then ask the counsellor for help on that too.
Have you ever done a test to determine your level of EMOTIONAL intelligence? (EQ) The good news is that emotional intelligence CAN always be improved. Try a FREE online test to determine where you could improve.
How ASSERTIVE are you? This is part and parcel of CONFIDENE. Women love confident men.
Start using assertive language, such as :
WHEN you.........(something being done by another person that bothers you) then it makes me FEEL (your feelings, negative that rise up in you when the do that) and as a result I would prefer that you STOP ............ (what they have been doing) and in future that you instead CHOOSE INSTEAD to...........(the action behaviour you would prefer)
So what really makes you FIT for marriage?
First and foremost are you a respectful gentleman towards women? That is important
The possibility of sex seems to be driving up your anxiety so please find the book 'the Joy of Sex" and read this book in bed with your wife. You can discover sex together this way. Though you could read a little of the book before you do get married.
Are you able to compromise when required? Being able to compromise is a great asset in a marriage for both parties.
Find ways to be helpful to your wife. She will notice and appreciate the small gestures by helping carry in shopping from car.
What are some activities you and your wife can enjoy OTHER THAN SEX for the time you are together. Make sure you ask her OPEN questions and that you are a very good LISTENTER.
Open questions start with "what, when, how and where" require a more considered response and you will learn more and keep the conversation flowing.
CLOSE questions only need a YES or a NO answer and so do not keep the conversation going.
OPEN:
"what made you choose that course of study?"
"what qualities do you most admire in a man?"
Stock up on a jigsaw you could do together. Work out some excursions you could do together. Some parks to visit. Get interested in her hobbies.
Life is NOT all about a focus on sex.
Are you good at CONSULTING others? From day one you and your wife will be CONSULTING with each other on many issues. And arriving at JOINT DECISONS on many things. You both need to listen to each other. You both need to be open with each other.
No SULKING, No SILENT treatment if you cannot get your own way. No TANTRUMS and throwing things down loudly, no saying Yes, and meaning No - where you say yes to a task, but do it so badly that you will never be aske to do it again. That is childish. Life is all about learning, growing, adapting, and remaining peaceful.
In a marriage you are a TEAM. So remain open and honest with her. Don't have secrets. Tell her thing that are bothering you or about areas you recognise you need to improve or adapt to changing circumstances.
There are 24 hours in a day. Each day is about far more than just your sexual relationship with your wife. If you ONLY focus on your penis size (which is a NORMAL size) the you will cause yourself problems that are only problem in your mind, NOT in reality.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 May 2015):
 I am guessing many Indian women lie about the impotence issue just so they could get away from the arranged marriage and from men they don't really fancy. Maybe they secretly go on birth control then blame the men who can't make them pregnant.
It's a problem when parents believe children too much, or don't trust in them at all.
I believe arranged marriages can work. Even in a conditioned environment, if you have love in you, you can give love and receive love. But you can't force people to love if they are not ready, or if some people really need that chemistry in order to love. So for a lot of people it's a hit or miss thing. If only parents understand this they would stop all this arranged business. Let people be free and to love so parents don't have to deal with messy business if marriages don't go well.
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A
male
reader, Senthilvlsvkm +, writes (9 May 2015):
Senthilvlsvkm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWanted to answer Ms janniepeg
This is to answer your 2nd May reply ,No No, the thing worrying me is that,In india 99% of the marriages are arranged by parents & it involves my & bride's parents. If the girl says Im having some issues sexually, then it will be a big problem & because of me my parents should not get into any problems & also i was thinking that Im cheating the girl who might have expected something better.
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A
male
reader, Senthilvlsvkm +, writes (4 May 2015):
Senthilvlsvkm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Wiseowle.That's true,I dont have my father, he's expired long back also no brothers to ask these doubts, and I felt shy asking this to my friends who may MAY make fun out of this, but now I feel better after reading this forum, hope everything will be fine.also my fiancée loves and cares me a lot , hope she will understand me well. Thanks a lot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2015): In response to the second question about the flaccid penis; I don't think that really matters. It's the surprise that counts, when it grows. Fertility has nothing to do with the size of a man's penis, it's his sperm count and a few other factors. If a woman files for divorce due to infertility or a small penis, you don't need her anyway. She married a penis and a sperm donor, not a man. You can't let stupid shallow people of this world overrule your common-sense and self-esteem. You may feel better, but you're still in the same place mentally. It's your job to change your mindset, not ours. We can only encourage and comfort you.
You have completely ruled out any possibility or importance of a woman loving you; and made your penis more important than who you are as a man, and how you will treat your future wife.
I hope you will refocus some of your concentration on being a good husband and father, as well as a good lover. You apparently don't have a father who should have passed such wisdom down to you. Good fathers see that their sons grow into men of strength and good character. They tell them what that means and what it entails. Maybe you weren't listening when he tried. You were too wrapped-up in what size your penis should be. A woman has to deal with the man you are, and how you treat her. That responsibility is not placed on your penis, young man.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 May 2015):
 Size has nothing to do with infertility. If small penises couldn't make a baby... men with small penises couldn't produce off spring and thus couldn't pass on the gene that produces smaller penises...
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 May 2015):
Any male has a high chance of getting a girl pregnant, regardless of the size (whatever size) of his penis.
Glad the answers allowed you to feel less anxious.
According to the livescience web page: "In fact, the average male will produce roughly 525 billion sperm cells over a lifetime and shed at least one billion of them per month. A healthy adult male can release between 40 million and 1.2 billion sperm cells in a single ejaculation"
Of course once they leave you it is up to the strongest swimmer in the pack to reach the egg first.
my best wishes to you and your intended bride for the happy day.
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A
male
reader, Senthilvlsvkm +, writes (3 May 2015):
Senthilvlsvkm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to add this in my question, actually i started to worry about this when I heard a relative girl who was married in 2014 applied for divorce & his husband was found infertile, I started to think that 5.5 inch penis also considered under infertile group, I know it doesnt make sense but it didnt go out of my mind, but im feeling better now as some ladies too in this blog said im normal & can get married. THANKS TO ALL. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (3 May 2015):
I doubt she would be concerned, if she is then tell her you are a grower not a shower. My husband just put his shorts back on when he is flaccid even when I tell him it's not necessary.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 May 2015):
 Not at all! Your type of penis (hider/retractor) is the most common! You'll be fine. Trust me, by the end of your first year of marriage, you'll be "helicoptering" for your wife in no time flat!
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A
male
reader, Senthilvlsvkm +, writes (3 May 2015):
Senthilvlsvkm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply & thanks for your time.
Also, one last question, If my wife concerned about my flaccid penis what shall i do?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2015): You have what is considered average, and I'm quite surprised that your doctor told you how to measure it; but neglected to tell you that.
I don't think your size is going to be the problem in your marriage; but I do think your performance anxiety will be.
My young friend, you really should be concerned more about how your bride feels about YOU! Not just what's attached to you. You come from India, where the Kama Sutra was created and you should learn that technique and endurance compensates for a lot. You have other appendages that come in handy for pleasing your partner. Tongue, fingers, and lips. Use all you've got. Caressing, kissing, and foreplay.
There's more to love-making than intercourse.
There are positions and many ways that you can please your lady and not worry about how long you are. You're a "grower" not a show-er; and you are putting far too much emphasis on size, and not enough on what to do with it.
If you're both virgins, put your anxieties aside. She has nothing to compare you to. If she isn't, she may be just as satisfied with what you have; and most of the problem is your own perception of size. Having a giant ding dong doesn't guarantee a man knows what to do with it, and he can be a major "flop" in bed.
How on earth will you upset her family? They don't have to have sex with you. You are short and thick which is quite impressive. Even quite appealing. Your width makes up for the length. You might be quite popular among gay men, as well as women! We are a lot less forgiving than women when it comes to size my friend. Fully aroused many men stretch even longer once they are engorged, and during the process of having sex. Women comment, but they really have no idea how we feel about such things. As a guy, I can understand.
I think you should relax, allow yourself peace and be glad everything is fully functioning. If you get rock hard, you're man! Take it from a gay man, who understands also from a man's point of view; that size can matter. However; if you concentrate more on enjoying sex and pleasing your partner, you'll forget about your silly notions. Truthfully, you're not doing that badly in the size department!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 May 2015):
You sound utterly normal. There are woman who are terrified that their husband's penis will be too large.
Rather than focus on the penis focus on how much effort you will put into foreplay and relaxing your wife.
Some men erroneously think the penis only is the sole way to bring their wife pleasure. It is not.
See if you can locate a copy of the book "The Joy of Sex" then maybe a book on love poems. Then you and your wife can discover sex yourselves, together, reading all manner of tips. Because you then go on to discover foreplay.
But sex alone will not make for a satisfying marriage.
Be kind, thoughtful and considerate.
Find things about your wife that you want to compliment your wife on.
Listen to her. Discover things that are important to her.
Have some fun cooking together, learning what you both like.
If you have a disagreement then calmly explore where you agree and where you both may need to compromise a little, show some empathy, or learn that there is always more than one solution to every problem.
And if anxiety is one of your existing traits then seek out some counselling before the marriage so that your anxiety is not allowed to undermine your marriage.
I wish you and your intended a very happy marriage.
And just remember that you are normal.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 May 2015):
I would WORRY less about the SIZE of your penis and MORE about HOW to be a good husband and lover.
Big penis doesn't equate to GOOD lover. And little penis doesn't mean BAD lover.
You are absolutely average sized.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 May 2015):
Don't worry one little bit! Your penis is a "hider", meaning it's not one where it's the full length flaccid like a used balloon when the air's been let out of it. It's retracted, and that does NOT mean that it's inferior.
The erect sizes you describe as well as diameter means it's quite respectable. You do not have a horse penis, and that's actually better, having a size like yours. To actually have a small "micropenis" means you're dealing with 2-3 inches ERECT.
Think of your penis like a portable umbrella. When you're going day to day, it's not getting caught in your pants, nor getting in weird positions, nor making you adjust constantly because it's retracted like the majority of men's out there. But, like the umbrella, when you're ready to USE that penis, it shoots out, hard, in charge, and fully capable for the act.
You're not cheating anyone. You're fine! Just remember - your penis isn't your only pleasure tool. Your mouth and fingers and hands and arms are in play too. She won't be pleasured by just your penis thrusting into her vagina, sorry to be graphic. How you pleasure her CLITORIS will send her into the stratosphere. Smart is the man who knows that right from the start.
Your welcome, future wife!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 May 2015):
You have an average sized penis. You are insecure over nothing. What do you mean you are not fit for marriage? You think only men with 9 inches can feel normal and confident as a husband? I guess there are vain men out there who feels if the women's bust is not at least a 34C then they are not fit and healthy as women. In Caribbean cultures, women who have no butts have nothing. Do you see how ridiculous that is? How can minds like these love and be at ease? Do you suspect that the bride's family told her that if your penis size is not 9 inch, then you are bad value for their investment? If I am not correct, tell me, but I've heard that dowry price in India is very high. Are you feeling the pressure that you have to be perfect in every sense?
A flaccid penis is normal when not aroused. It would be uncomfortable and painful to have a hard on every minute of your life. Then you would not be able to truly live, if you are embarrassed that others can see your raging hard on.
I think your future wife has just as much anxiety if you are both virgins. Things such as, what if it hurt the first night and she didn't know what to do, what if it didn't bleed and you worry she's not a virgin, etc.
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