A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,I am a 28 yr old female,married and have a 5 yr old son.One of my coworkers who is an extremly good looking guy started emailing me and i started emailing him back as a joke but didn't realize when things got serious and we actually started liking each other.We have been intimate for about 6 mnths now.I am confused because he has a girlfriend.I get jealous when i see him with his GF,he says he does not care about me being with my husband and he still likes me.I have feelings for him.If he doesn't call em or talk to me one day i get upset.Does that mean i am falling in love with this guy?Me and my husband don't get along very well.I am confused as to whether i should continue.I really like this guy and being with him. He makes me feel like a queen.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (19 February 2007):
 OK, so you're like a kid in a candy store. Soem guy who is good looking emails you. BIG DEAL ! You soak up the attention like a sponge and jump into bed. That's lovely. By the way, he's not trreating you like a Queen, it's more like a Joker. What do you have to gain here? You now have to carry this GUILT around for the rest of your life. IF you have a conscience, that should be a heavy burden as you're very young.
I canunderstand how when your marriage is lacking something it feels good to be flattered by others. That's natural. It's all the tiny steps in between that amaze me.
Smiles, shivers, emails,glances, words, coffee breaks, lunches, walks, convincing yourself you won't actually do it, making plans to meet somewhere, shopping for new panties, preparing yourself for the big event, lies, shame, exposure to disease, disrespecting everything moral....the lsit goes on. You're acting lile an addict. Oh, by the way, when your son finds out he'll too have to carry that burden around for the rest of his life. "My mom was taking her clothes off with another man while me and Dad were at home." And, he will know. You're responsible for his reaction to this MAJOR event in his life.
And after all this, you're only worried about your jealous feelings about his girlfriend, phone calls and other meaningless trivial crap.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): You should gain some self respect. Break up with him and work things out with your husband or break up with both and find someone who really cares for you and isnt playing you- or isnt like your husband and being inattentive. i reccomend marriage counceling to reconnect with your husband. This other guy sounds immmature- if he treats his gf that way- he will eventually treat you that way by cheating on others like how he is cheating on you with his gf... watch out girly- you should know better...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): How can he make you feel like a Queen?
You just finished saying he has a GF and you are married. This totally undoes that statement so stop believing your lies about him and stop lying to yourself.
Of course you don't get along with your husband, you started to put all of your energy into the other, unavailable dude.
Good looking but he is an ahole. You have what others want and desire; what matters most in this life...a loving husband, a beautiful child- A FAMILY!!
Why would you toss it all away because of sex with an A HOLE?
Please snap out of it. You have happiness in your hands.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): You are married. Whether happily or not is beside the point. You are married. Which means: you are not free to form any kind of romantic/sexual relationship with anybody else.You need to FORGET about this man, whether he calls you, emails you or doesn't call/email, whether he has a girlfriend or not.Focus instead on discovering ways you can get along better with your husband - perhaps some joint counselling.If eventually you find your marriage can not be saved and you divorce, THEN you will free to take up with this co-worker, but not UNTIL then.
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 Hope you dont take too much offence when I say you're being an ass. Firstly, the reason he doesn't mind that you have a husband is cos to him, you're nothing more than some action on the side. He's getting one hell of an ego boost, having the attention of two women, one supposedly married as well. Have you considered that maybe things not going well with your husband is cos your attention is no longer on him?
Here's your options, stay in your crappy situation where you're married and just see the other guy on the side cos there's no way in hell he's gonna dump his girlfriend for you. Or you could focus your efforts and try bring your marriage back on track. Your husband married you for a real good reason, cos he had strong feelings for you. You also have a young child too, dont forget. The other guy is just getting what he wantd out of you, if you even bring up the subject of getting together, watch how he'll dump you without a second thought. Get your head straight and work on your marriage
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A
female
reader, luvme247  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 The relationship is not going to work out with this guy from work. He has a girlfriend and you are married. He is not going to fall in love with you knowing that you have a husband. He is going to see you as someone to sleep with and that is all. I am sure that he doesn't see himself having a girlfriend as a problem, because you have your husband. Why should you see a problem with him cheating on his girlfriend when you are cheating on your husband? You are looking tword him because you are unhappy in your marriage. You can't get serious with someone else & expect a normal relationship to happen until you figure out what you are going to do with your current relationship. Either break up with your husband and then see where things go or try working on getting help with your marriage which is what I would suggest. Marriage isn't easy, but it should be for life... Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): I dont think that you are falling in love with this guy. You need to get your feelings straight and realize what is important to you. Do you want to make things work with your husband or want a divorce.. Try to focus on your current family now. If things dont work out in that department, then end things... and start to move on. If not with that guy, then with another that will "make you feel like a queen."There are many fish in the sea.... dont worry. : ]
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