A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong to want a friend to ask how you are if you've been in hospital?I always ask! Friend or colleague, family etc its nice to be asked, makes you feel like someone cares even a little If you got home from an over night hospital stay your good friend knew about (. You are having a few days off work). And she didnt text and ask you how you feel is it ok to feel unwanted? I'd ask her! Or any good friend. Why do some people not care? Too much to ask? Im not needy! Its human nature to be concerned for a friend isnt it?I don't expect people to "drop everything" and see me! Of course people are busy, but friends care right? Or does it depend??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2016): I'd cut her a bit of slack if she is usually a caring friend. I am a little older than the age bracket you have stated for yourself and I have had 'menopausal brain' for years now. My memory is sometimes shocking and for things that are really important. I am extremely busy at work, get back late, have to work into the evening sometimes and have a million other things to attend to. I am in the habit of continually checking that I haven't forgotten something I should have done. I know that I need to reply to a friend's text and time goes by and then it's over a week! I care, but I only have so much time and energy. If she is like me, then forgive her and ask how she is. She'll probably be mortified! If she sounds like she couldn't care less,...well then you have your answer.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 September 2016):
 How long is it that you are back from the hospital ?
A good friend will ask - but not necessarily right away, like hours later or the same day.
That's not because they don't care ,but to leave you a little time to rest and and get your bearings back. They still care if they ask tomorrow, or the day after.
Yes, it's nice to be asked- but not necessarily as soon as you are out of the operating room.
4 years ago I had an overnight stay too- in Hungary ; not in my country. Maybe it was because I was abroad and alone, but my relatives, who normally aren't overly apprehensive nor overly " cuddly " started tempesting me with calls and I was barely awake from anesthesia. It was maxillo- oral surgery, my lips ( because of the anesthesia ) looked like those of those Amazon tribes on National Geographic, I had stitches in my mouth, my mouth and face felt puffy and sore - not in best shape for conversation- and most of all, I felt fine but TIRED. I wanted to sleep, I wanted to rest . No such luck. My mom called, and my sister called, -and then they called again right away because I had been curt and cut the convo short, and they got worried. And then, my ex husband called, because my sister had told him that " I did not want to talk " and he got worried too ( ... assuming probably that if a chatterbox like me does not want to talk then things are baaad ) and then he scared my son telling him " Your mother did not sound like herself " so my son was saying : I am taking the first flight , I am coming there right away " and everybody was making a big fuss and not letting me sleep a wink....now thinking about it makes me laugh, but then I was livid.
Conclusion : friends do ask , but the smartest friends , if you ask me, are those who let you take a breather first, rest a bit, ease back into your home routine without forcing you to re-live the operation and the hospital stay right away , which is something that some people do not like to do.
Probably your friend will contact you anytime during your days off.
Let us know if she does, and best wishes for a prompt recovery.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 September 2016):
 I don't think it'sd too much to ask either.
If you guys talk often, I find it odd that she was totally quiet while you were in the hospital.
I would not make first contact after that.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 September 2016):
 I don't think it's too much to ask at all. I just think you need to give people time to remember, because not everyone remembers on the actual day. Maybe your friend remembers it tomorrow. But if the friend never asks at all? I'm not sure I would want to be friends any longer, to be honest.
I went to the hospital once and was so ill I had to be put in overnight for 3 nights, if I don't remember wrong. I had a friend that was supposed to take me, so she knew I was going, but she ditched helping me get to the hospital last minute, and she didn't ask how I was or checked in on me after. So, I don't talk to her any longer.
I expect to get what I give in return from friends. If they don't give of their time, or can't be bothered to ask me how I am, I don't want to waste my time or energy on them either. But I do give people a chance to make it up to me, if it's a case of simply forgetting or maybe they weren't sure what they should do, or they have too much on their own plate at the moment. But if they are just plain selfish, I don't need that type of people as friends.
I hope your good friend gets around to check in on you soon! It's what friends do, they are supposed to care for one another and that means checking in on you when you're out of hospital, whether they show up at your door, or just send a text. If they don't, I think that says it all about how much they value the friendship.
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