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male
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*urpleGirl
writes: Hi there...so I am in a real mess right now and I have no idea who to turn to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and for the last year we have been having a long distance relationship because of university. The last few months have been really tough because a lot of things have been going on in our lives and we are really missing the support system. This year, I am room mating with my boyfriend's bestest friend in the entire world, who is a fabulous guy... Since I moved in my roommate and I have gotten really close, we have this amazing connection. To make things short, he told me that he loved me last night when we were drunk and I felt it as truth. I told him that I have feelings for him too, but we both knew that nothing could ever happen because I do love my boyfriend sooo much and he is my roommate's best friend. I guess my question is...am i goiing to have to love the rest of my life with a man I love, but with a best friend I love as well? Is this normal? And what if my feelings are stronger for my roommate...is there anything I could do?
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best friend, drunk, long distance, moved in, roommate, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): I too am going through the same thing i have been with my Boyfriend for a year an 3 months but the thing is, his bestfriend is also, MY bestfriend and i feel as though i love him too.
mine and my boyfriends bestfriend has told me on many occasions that he loves me and wishes we could be together, i have felt this way too but never said it back because i felt like i was being unloyal to my boyfriend. He did tell my boyfriend once about his feelings for me which put a wedge between the three of us. Recently his feelings have come up for me again and i have felt them too, i keep going through a mind battle on who i really love or am ment to be with and i have decided to stay with my boyfriend, i knew i loved him from the first moment i met him. With my best friend it is more of a come and go love, like when my boyfriend isnt there he always is, and i will always love him but i have come to realize its not the same love, and if it is ment to be that my bestfriend and i do end up together, im sure it will end up that way.
A
female
reader, kym +, writes (31 October 2005):
i dont think your in love with both i think ones lust. I thnk because you dont see you boyfriend enough you feel lonley and insecure and think you need a man to keep you.....now his friends on the scene your becoming attacted to him.....iv been though this and i stayed with my boyfriend i decided in the end by spending time with my boyfriend and having NO contact with the other guy, then doing the same with the other guy....in the end i spent time without any of them and my heart made my decision....i hope my suggestion works for you too...all the best
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2005): i feel sorry for your bf! stick with him! nothing can happen with you and your room mate with out hurting your bf! dont go any further cos else you will get hurt aswell.xx
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A
female
reader, heaven +, writes (30 October 2005):
Firstly the room mate was drunk when he said he loved you,has he said it since?Also what about your boyfriend and how he would feel,ive just had my heart broken&it feels awfull,do you really want your boyfriend to feel crushed!another thing is that if your boyfriend& you are so appart then maybe its not secretly working thats why your looking at the guy who lives with you?It must be hard not having the sexual or emotional side you had when your boyfriend was nearer.what happends when you have had a bad day?i bet you turn to the guy who lives with you,maybe you do love the guy you live with but different then what you and your boyfriend have.also how do you know if your boyfriend has been faithfull if your that far apart.
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