A
male
age
36-40,
*rk29
writes:I am a 25 year old male, and its been 5 years since I've had a relationship that matters. It lasted for 10 months and she decided one day that it was over and that was that. Since then I've had maybe 2-3 attempts trying to start a relationship with a girl, but it ends up the same as always...alone, and wishing I had someone to be with. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm a super nice guy and I think sometimes that is my downfall...maybe I'm too nice. I'm shy but super approachable and I get better once I get to know someone. I've had many really great girls that have liked me, but I seem to screw things up or they lose interest just as fast. It seems like everytime I try, I'm always let down...pretty much the story of my life. I'm losing hope, and I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I've been told once that "if its happened once, it'll happen again" Will it really? or am I doom to be alone for the rest of my life. HELP!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): Hey now, the past doesn't determine the future. It doesn't have to! So keep being who you are, but maybe work on overcoming your shyness. I mean you might have to play the game a little bit in the beginning so as to appear slightly less interested than you are. I mean, for me at least, a guy who comes on too strong scares me away, but once I get over the initial and awkward part of relationship, it's easier to deal with someone's true personality. I personally don't have anything against nice guys, but they have to have self-respect.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): I was in your shoes at one point. I was the guy that was too nice and only got in a relationship to watch it end. And girls won't coming up to me??? I realized through experience that you have to open your eyes and look for the signs a girl gives when they are interested. A lot of times I was too shy to talk to a girl that was interested because of the fear of rejection. But sometimes you just get the guts and just do it. Approach her and ask her questions then maybe offer to have lunch or drinks. What's the worst that can happen....she says no? Not a big deal. Just move on to next one. Most of the time if she is giving the hints she will say yes to your offer. Then you make sure you get to know the girl and be a good listener. A girl will tell you everything you need to know if you listen.
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