A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, I need some help with sorting out a relationship issue. I am thinking of ending a 7 year relationship and need to know if I am doing the right thing or if im going to live to regret it. My guy tells me he loves me but does not show it in any way. We have been together for seven years and I cant think of a time when i was last kissed, touched or shown any affection exept when he is trying to get a root. We have no sex life because he comes so fast and always tries to make me have anal sex with him even though I dont want to. Even if I spend 2 hours getting ready i dont even get a "you look nice" despite this i get hit on every time I go out by other guys. I have a lot to offer and feel I deserve more than this. We are arguing all the time and are basically no more than room mates. Even though all this sounds bad i love him and am having a hard time letting go. I have broken up with guys in the past because they were too nice. I dont know what I was thinking. Do you think i have a major case of the grass looking greener on the other side or should i just break up with him and move on with my life? 7 years is a lot of history and i dont want to think that ive wasted all that time im 27. anyway any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): Hi - I recently felt the same as you as though my partner and I were friends and that was it. I too seemed to be 'stuck in a rut' for fear of ending it - we'd been together for nearly 5 years and it did feel like a long time but it's not a lifetime! You have to follow your heart. I knew things weren't right and could never see a long term future. I eventually ended it after alot of soul searching but now I feel better in myself and stronger for it. If it's not right, move on! Take care.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (12 March 2007):
 It sounds to me that although you're "fond" of him you're not in love with him. I think you're with him more out of habit more than anything else and the longer you keep feeling this way the more you're going to resent him and notice all of his shortcomings. I suggest you sit down with him one night and tell him exactly how you're feeling. Let him know that you're not happy the way things are just now.
Regarding the anal sex, if you don't like it then it's out, simple as that. Like you said, 7 years IS a long time but I don't think he's going to change. You have to decide are you happy living this way? You obviously aren't so let him know then if things don't improve and he's not making any effort to change (which I don't think he will but that's only my opinion) then you need to move on. Remember what I said... this is a relationship of HABIT more than anything else.
Go out there and find someone who WILL love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You have to close one door behind you before another one opens.
Eve
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A
female
reader, Bella55  +, writes (12 March 2007):
Have you told him how you feel? Sometimes you just need a heart to heart talk. If you dont make your voice heard and your concerns shown, how is he going to know. Men cannot read womens minds, actually theyre all evry terrible at figuring us out. I would sit down, organise a romantic evening and tell him that you need to rekindle that flame. If he doesnt take you seriously or your interests to heart then maybe its time to move on. But try confididng in him, and telling him what is missing and what you want first.
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A
female
reader, TakeItOrLeaveIt +, writes (12 March 2007):
 aaw well if you're not happy in this relationship, you shouldnt stay in it. you're right.. you deserve more. 7 years is a very long time. does he know that you feel this way? Maybe he doesnt realise what he is doing. Tell him straight. You were able to type how u felt here without it sounding harsh. so tell him exactly what you feel. If you have spoken to him and nothing has changed, then maybe u should try move on. you sound like u do have a lot to give, so give it to someone who can give it back to you and who deserves it. you do deserve more. follow your heart. i hope everything works out 4u. hope i helped. good luck xxx
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