A
female
age
30-35,
*ree soul
writes:I keep posting but its either i get rejected or told i am not clear enough. Well that's frustrating especially if you don't know what's wrong. Anyway i am a 22 years old female (not sure what my account says about my sex) i am dating a guy whose a decade older than me (32). So problem is my father wants to meet him so he can know who i am dating, but i am afraid to show my father my boyfriend as he is older even his looks says it all and i think he might not approve of the relationship. Now i want to know if i am crazy by dating an older guy? Also am i crazy thinking my father might not approve? What do i do?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2014): Unless you are a mind-reader, or have a history of making bad choices, introduce him to your father.
You are a grown-woman, and you can make your own choices who to date. If your culture gives the patriarch of the family ruling-authority within the household; his opinion and approval counts. You have little choice. We all want our families to welcome our partners with open arms. It's best you don't expect them to feel as you do about your mate. There's no pleasing over-protective or controlling parents. They will meddle.
No one is good enough, unless they choose them. So you have to show some maturity and intelligence in order to gain your sovereignty and independence. It's quite limited living at home with your parents. They will hold little confidence in your choices, if they still financially-support you.
The age-difference really isn't that drastic. It's your maturity-level and track-record with past boyfriends, that may be putting you and your father at odds.
Daughters and their frightening choices of men are a parent's nightmare.
Once they leave home, it is no telling what they may be enduring once they are no longer under their watchful eye and protection. They need to feel assured you will be safe, happy, financially-secure, and will raise a healthy family.
They also hope the men you bring home are respectful and have no sordid or criminal-past. No wife and family hidden away somewhere. Religion or political-affiliation is often a deal-breaker. Take your pick.
If your boyfriend is of sound character, has a decent job,
and treats you well. Your father may not necessarily like him, but he will feel at-ease knowing you didn't make a bad choice. It's his job to make your suitor feel uncomfortable.
That's what fathers do. It puts your date on notice, that this father cares about his daughter; and will accept no nonsense.
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