A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Thank you to everyone taking the time to read this and help. I'm in desperate need of advice about my insecurity issues. I'm having these issues with my boyfriend of one year. These are some examples of what has been making me feel this way. He texts and chats online with female coworkers, he's still friends with a couple of ex girlfriends, he has a flirty personality with other girls, he lets other girls flirt with him, he has given a couple of other girls his phone number. These are some of the things I have noticed while being with him.Now I know a lot of this has to do with my insecurity and probably me being worried over nothing. But I also think my boyfriend is somewhat at fault for some of these things too. I don't think he is setting any type of boundaries and is letting some of this behavior go a little too far.He really is a great and charming guy, with that being said, he has a very flirty personality and I have seen this when he has talked to and has been around other women. I hate to be upset about it because he's a very respectful guy and has good morals and honestly does not seem like the cheating type, but I do seem to get jealous and insecure about some of these things. I really do not want to mess up our relationship, is there anything I can do?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 March 2014):
 This has nothing to do with your insecurity. Guys who are taken don't give other girls their phone number. That is being unfaithful and disloyal. Does he tell these girls he gives his phone number to that he is single? That's not flirting, that's outright solicitation.
He has ego issues. He has a girlfriend, but he is addicted to women's attentions. Even your insecurity and jealousy feeds his ego. His craving of female attention is ruining your relationship.
I would leave him, because he doesn't sound like the type who would have an epiphany about his behavior. It's one thing to have other platonic friends of the opposite sex, and it's another to keep playing around with exes and getting phone numbers from other women. That's just nasty.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 March 2014):
 When you first met him and fell for him was part of the charm his flirty personality? I bet it was. I also bet he talked to his exes before dating you. It's not like he has added them AFTER dating you.
But now that you see THIS is who he i with MANY women you don't like it.
He is who he is, however YOU could tell him that the constant flirting makes you feel insecure. See what he thinks of that. But expecting him to do a 180 I think isn't right. Some people are natural flirts, they do it subconsciously, just like you breathe air.
It seems to me that he REALLY like his ego stroked constantly and that is why he keep a LOT of women around him, he flirts with them giving them a little attention and it makes him feel extra hot.
He might not be aware of just how much he flirts. I can imagine it being a bit tiring to constantly watch. I don't think he will change, but you could bring up how it makes you feel instead of trying to suck it up, it obviously grates on you.
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