A
female
age
26-29,
*oxic_oreos
writes:hello, well i have a boyfriend in real, and i have maybe 9 guys online. i just wanted to know is it considered cheating on my real bf?and one guy i met online and know is planning to come see me!!im scared i will try to avoid it.am i cheating on my real life bf with the online bf''s?
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female
reader, Vickett0410  +, writes (27 June 2009):
 I think if your real boyfriend doesn't know about them then yes. But if he knows and is okay with that then no your not. Put yourself in his situation. Would it upset you if he had 9 online gf's?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): The reason you are asking this question here is because you feel guilty about it. The fact that you are not sure whether it is right or wrong pretty much tells you it's wrong. Ask yourself: if your real boyfriend found out, what would he think? My guess is he would be really mad (understandable, I think) and this is why you're "scared".
A girl just doesn't get 9 online boyfriends without trying - you went out and looked for these boys, and you encouraged them, one so much that he wants to meet you now. I bet he doesn't know you have a boyfriend, does he? I think it's time for you to be honest with everyone and yourself. Having no integrity is a really, really unattractive characteristic.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 June 2009):
 Yes it likely is, because of the context.
It sounds like you and your boyfriend are in a (or suppose to be a) monogamous relationship.
The first rule of monogamy is:
You only have sex with one person.
The second rule of monogamy is:
You never do anything that would potentially threaten rule 1
Interacting with guys online to the point where you have to refer to your boyfriend as your "real" boyfriend, indicates these online guys think they are your boyfriends too. This is an act that potentially threatens your relationship with him, and THAT is what makes it wrong.
-Frank B Kermit
Author of Alternative Relationship Choices
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Well it depends on what you're saying and feeling for the other nine guys, as well as your relationship with your "real" bf and how you two have personally come to define "cheating."
Romantic relationships do involve both emotions and physical levels so i feel like those two should be kept only between the two people who are committed, so to answer your question with an opinion, yes, it is cheating. Especially if you are calling them your online bfs.
But that's just me. YOur bf might not care for some reason. Would you be ok with it if he was doing this to you? If you knew he was standing behind you, would you go about talking to them in the samw way?
If you've asnwered "no" then chances are, you're doing something that's not right.
And about the guy meeting you that you will "try to avoid:" It's very easy. You just have to tell him "no" and that you found someone else and thank him for his time.
~Sy.
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