A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I am having such a hard time writing this. I am really uncomfortable with myself at the moment. Here it goes:I am a young teenage girl, and I have been obsessed with boys from the start. I have dated and been with quite a few of guys. I even have a boyfriend at the moment.Recently, though, I've seemed to take an interest in girls. I stare at attractive girls when I see them, and I only make out with other girls in my fantasies. I think I'm starting to like one of my best friends, but I'm not quite sure if it's a crush or just a thought. I'm not even quite 100% comfortable with lesbianism myself. Even though all of this is true, I'm still very much attracted to guys, more so than I am to girls. Am I bisexual, or just bi-curious? Does this happen to everyone during late puberty?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): Both prior commentators did a great job in offering advice- I agree 100% with anonymous - all you are is young and normal. PLEASE don't be hard on yourself- be relieved that today you have the ability to reach out and hear from other (been there, done that) people who can share their experiences with you. At your age, most of us had ragging hormones and sexual fantasies run the full range. You may or may not have a relationship with a woman- if it happens, fine, if not- that's OK...
Hang in there, and be careful- don't rush to have sex, and wait until you've met someone who really respects you and is interested in your well being.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): I had the exact same feelings after seeing some porn that was directed towards fantasizing about women. I was very young and it confused me like crazy. Well...20 years later, I have never had any sexual encounters with women and the fantasies went away. I don't know if it was directly linked to the porn, but I haven't watched it since and I stopped having fantasies about women, I am completely heterosexual.
You are perfectly normal, it is however too soon to know if you are bi-sexual or bi-curious. Time will tell, so relax. Either way, you are o.k. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): At this stage, you're obviously just very curious. Your hormones are running away with you and your brain is trying to keep up. Probably why you've had a few boyfriends in the past.
I, myself, am bi-sexual. I started getting "those" feelings for other girls when I was about your age as well and they just never went away. This does NOT mean you will end up bi-sexual or are bi-sexual or a lesbian. It just means that you're a young girl experiencing mixed feelings about everything. So it's natural that you're feeling rather uncomfortable with yourself.
Also, people do not choose to be any one sexual orientation. If you come from a religious family, it might be harder to "come out" as bi-sexual or a lesbian but I have friends who are from religious families who are doing just fine.
And don't worry, when I was getting these kinds of feelings myself, I was absolutely freaking out. I was twelve and thirteen years old and wondering why I couldn't stop staring at other girls my age and fantasizing about much more than making out with them.
You are, in medical terms, completely "normal".
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 January 2010):
This is one of the most commonly asked questions here, and you may not get many answers since everyone is bored of typing the same thing.
Short version:
Are you normal? Yes.
Does this mean anything? Maybe / Maybe not.
Have a search through our archives for questions like "Am I gay?" for more detailed info.
Good Luck!! xx
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