A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for three years now and i'm really happy with him. We are both students at the same university and live just next door to each other in rented student houses. Life at uni is a blast, we work hard but play harder, the parties are crazy! And im just loving life at the minute, but now i'm getting myself into a dilema.I live with four girls, one being my best friend from school. After finishing college we both moved from our home town together to go to the same uni and eventually got student accommodation together. We've been best mates for about 6 years, we are so close, we know everything about each other and are always there for each other, were inseperable really. She's also in a relationship with a boy back home, so they see each other most weekends.Anyway one night we had another crazy party, everyone was out of it and having a really good time. At about 5ish people started leaving or crashing on the floor/couch/stairs anywhere. My boyfriend ended up laid out on the couch and me and some other girls were still drinking and dancing in the livingroom. When me and my best mate are drunk we've kissed for dares, But as the party died we were holding eachother up to go to bed and we just couldn't stop laughing at eachother, then we ended up kissing, then it ended up in a full blown snog, and then we ended up in bed, i'll spare you the details. Never ever have i done anything like this with someone of the same sex and never did i think i would, but it was amazing. The next day we both had really bad hangovers but could remember everything and we didn't talk much for the whole day. i think we were both shocked at what we did and quite embarrassed. That night i was in the shower and my friend came in to get something, once we looked at eachother it happened again. We've been sleeping with eachother ever since, and we both know its wrong, especially because of our boyfriends but we can't help it.Now my feelings for my boyfriend aren't the same and my friend says she feels the same about her boyfriend. I don't know what to do. Does this mean me and my friend are falling in love with eachother? and am i bisexual because of what ive done with my friend? Because i dont find other women attractive and cringe at the thought of having sex with other women. Its confusing! Help please
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, kissing, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): If you are bisexual you will want to see etc both partners - If this is just an experimental phase then you will be able to stop with your g/friend. Either way DO NOT BE ASHAMED about this - There is a broad spectrum of sexual behaviour between heterosexual and homosexual and experimentation is normal. You need to determine your true feelings - think about whether you could both leave your b/friends and be together OR whether you could leave you g/friend? Where do feelings lead you? Being Bisexual is difficult to handle as a lifestyle because few partners will accept it - So experiment for now but make your choice.Bu the way I am Bi and Single (I think Bi usually means Single)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Sorry but straight girls don't have sex many times with a woman. Even if it is just 'experimenting' that usually happens when your very young and not in a serious relationship and usually dosen't last very long. You can't stop because you enjoy it, your going to have to really think this through. Maybe it makes you cringe because you were brought up to think like that? and your scared about how you really feel? Your sexuality and true feelings will come out no matter how deeply you push it away.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): do you have feelings for her?? i'm married but me and one of my girlfriends sometimes snog. i dont feel bisexual at all but i think while your young its just fun to experiment and with a girl its different than with your boyfriend. maybe your just bored with him?? when it all comes down to it sez is sex and whether its with a boy or girl its all on how you feel about it. btw i know what you mean at cringing at the thought of sex with women!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): I would say that your not bisexual. I used to mess around with my best friend too, and I thought the same thing...am I bisexual? Whats going on with me?...all that stuff. However, neither me or my friend hade serious boyfriends at the time, so its a little different. I have to say though, we messed around with eachother for awhile, but it was just a faze I was going through. I mean I used to kiss girls at parties for dares too, and fun stuff like that and me and my friend would mess around for fun in private. All I'm saying is, if you dont think other women are hott and you "cringe" at thinking of two women having sex, your most likely not a bisexual, you're just "in the moment" with your friend having fun. Now, the whole boyfriend thing, I have a serious boyfriend NOW and me and my friend have totally stop messing around with eachother but if we still did, I would tell my boyfriend because he is a good man and he deserves to know. Ultimately you have to decide if being with this friend of yours is worth loosing your boyfrend? If you love your boyfriend end it with the friend(in a sexual way, not in a friendly way), if you love your friend, end it with the boyfriend and encourage her to do the same! Be true to yourself, and follow your heart!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, ask sweeney :) +, writes (11 August 2008):
 honestly i dont think this experiance makes you bisexual i would only say your bisexual if you had deep emotional feelings for both men and women
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): ok how can u cringe at the thought of two women having sex when ur having sex with another woman. i am 17 and bisexual. and i wouldn't really say ya'll are falling in love. but who am i to say anything cuz i don't know what ya'lls emotions. but honestly u might be bisexual even if you don't think other grls are attractive...but on the other hand it could just be that since she is ur best friend u just feel more comfortable with her...oh and bout the whole boyfriend situation just tell them cuz knowing them they would want to join cuz "the more the marrier".
...............................
A
male
reader, The Listener  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 I think one route would be to tell your boyfriends what has happened and how you feel about each other. If you both feel attracted to each other and feel a strong emotional, physical and sexual connection then you should definitley let them know. Think about whether you see yourself in a relationship with your friend. If you do, you shouldn't be leading your boyfriends along. Of course, some guys would be delighted to find out that their girlfriends are bisexual but this depends on the guy and the situation. Whether you're all okay sharing partners is something that is up to you, but you need to give it a bit of time and focus on what you feel and what you want. Hopefully it will all work out for the best and i wish you good luck with whatever happens. Remember to stay in touch and let us know how it turns out.
...............................
|
