A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy have been friends for a while and I'm very attracted to him. I used to try and get it across that I like him. I asked him on a date, and thought it went well, but he never asked me to go on a date after that and I stopped pursuing him. Recently he has gotten involved in a serious relationship with a girl I do not know. The other night I went to visit him and a friend(a boy) and I was invited to stay the night. Me and him ended up spooning all night and caressing each other(no sex or kissing). The next day he apologized saying that he spoons people in his sleep...yeah. Does it mean he likes me, or am I just being used?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all of you who answered. I've been wondering what this guy wants and I really needed advice on what to do.
I've still been getting mixed responses from this guy. I've decided to just be his friend and want him from a distance. I'm going to avoid any situations with him that would lead me on. I don't want to hurt his girlfriend and I don't want to mess things up for him. I really do love him.
Again, thanks for responding.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Oh dear, you really have to start learning to have more respect for yourself. Otherwise you will just attract guys who want a piece of ass to play with every now and then.
the first step, if a man has a girlfriend stay away. That's easy isnt it? you wouldnt want another girl trying it on with someone you loved would you?
Secondly, when you meet a man do not sleep with him ( even spooning ) until you get to know him really well and he is committed to you.
Follow these rules and should be able to avoid about 90% of the creeps out there who prey on girls like yourself.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 i think this guy is leading you on, maybe he does like you but he doesnt seem to want to pursue it any further. i think that you should move on, after all the girl he's with has feelings too and she would get hurt also. he may just get caught up in the moment with you and regret it later, id move on if i were you, this situation is very messy for you and you would only end up getting hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): it could be that he's realised what he missed out on, but a lot of the time men want what is off limits! i reckon you can do better, he's being untrue to his new girlfriend and you wouldn't want to be in her shoes a few months down the line!
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A
female
reader, Scarlett.K.  +, writes (7 February 2008):
If he just spooned you, I wouldn't say it was a big deal, since there was no kissing or sex. He didn't pursue you for a second date, he's in a relationship and he said sorry for spooning you. I think it's safe to say, he's not using you. But, if you really want to look into it: Who invited you to stay the night though? Him or the other friend? Although, what exactly was he doing sleeping with you? You wouldn't want him doing that to a girl, if you went out with him, I don't think his girlfriend will like that. Without going any deeper, I'd say he's not...as of now.
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 your not bewing used....YET
exactly the same thing happened with me. Just dont go there. he'll take your heart and hurt it.
also if hes in a serious relationship with another girl and hes doing that to you what makes him say he wont if hes in one of those relationships with you and goes and does that to another girl?
he sounds like he should be avoided, i know it snot nice to hear but thats my opinion x
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