A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:I feel very lost and lonely in my relationship of 16 months right now. I do believe my boyfriend has commitment problems and sometimes It really does hurt me, considering weve been together for so long and yet I dont think hes over it. Ive never been unfaithful to him (though he has) and Ive never given him a reason not to trust me. But throughout the whole relationship ive had that question 'is this relationship really working?' going around and around my head. I start off feeling this, then talk to him about it, but nothing ever soughts itself out and in the next few months, i bring it back up again with other recent problems ontop and its just a vicious circle, not ending. Im kind of getting fed up of it now, and Ive lost a lot of interest in this relationship. Here are some if the things we have troubles with:1. He doesnt seem to be willing enough to sought things out.2. The relatonship doesnt seem to be an important priority to him anymore.3. Sex has become frequently less.4. Whenever I talk to him about my problems, he doesnt help me and just tells me to 'sought it out' myself, becuase Im the one feeling sad. 5. He doesnt earn much money and he has car expenses and college to save up for this year and i understand that, but hes limitting himself for us to do anything and Ive become increasingly bored. I asked him if he wants this relationship to carry on or i ask him 'would you liek to be with me in a years time?' and his answers are usually 'depends on how I feel'. That doesnt give me much hope for the future and Ive now become less hopeful. He says hes comfatable with how the relationship is going, but im not. But that doesnt seem to be a priority to him, just as long as hes happy, then thats all that matters.I dont have many friends I can hang out with, most of my college buddies never seem to want to go out, or my old friends just want to go out drinking. Which I dnt find fun or interesting. Im sure hes just going out with me for comfort becuase he doesnt have many friends living where he does anymore.What do you think I should do to get this relationship back on its feet? Or shall I just call it quits?love x x x
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Since you are 16, I would move on and date others. Enjoy your youth and getting out there with your friends and other boys and have a good time.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Talking may not achieve anything.
Maybe , you need to leave to make your relationship better.
He needs a shocker to jolt him up from his stupor.
Your leaving would make him reassess his love for you.
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A
female
reader, Miss-Blonde +, writes (4 March 2008):
Sit him down and talk to him about it ONE LAST TIME and ask him what he wants to do to spice up the relationship or you give him some ideas. Go out for the weekend on a romantic holiday and have some private time with him.
If they don't work then he obviously isnt worth it and you should be with someone you feel happy with and dont have that question in your mind constantly
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Personally, I think its time to have one final talk with him. Sit him down and tell him that if he's not going to make any attempt to sort things out, then the relationship has to be over. He isnt treating you right, and you seem like a lovely person so you deserve way more. I understand that talking has solved no problems in the past, but if you let him know that this conversation with you could be his last, then it could be a good reality slap for him. He needs to realise that being with you is not a chore or a thing that has to be, its a choice, and if he's not acting interested or welcoming any longer, then this is when you have to start considering whether you should actually be together. So tell him, just once more, how you feel, and be serious about it. Don't hide the truth, just tell him straight. Hopefully this will finally make him realise he's losing a great girl, and will do his best to make up for it :] so good luck, and make sure you talk to him! :]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): noticeably in your question you haven't mentioned anything about really feeling strong emotions for this guy-this is not an accusation- i mean do you really want to hang on for this guy? this guy isn't committing, showing you true feelings, showing you any affection, not considering your needs, not giving you straight answers he doesnt sound like he has any true feelings for you he sounds like he doesnt want a serious relationship just casual dating also immature-in a relationship there are two people's needs. the point is can you see anything worth salvaging here? My advice would be to drop him, that way you can be free to look for someone who is right for you and could end up happier than you ver thought. You can obviously do way better than him, by staying with him is just wasting happiness time!! lol. at this age we should be having fun, spending time with people who make us happy, soon you'll meet someone compatible with who you hve a passion with and you can do things you love doing together, it's great that you don't enjoy going out drinking-you are obviously more excited about more imaginative ways of having fun :D
ditch this relationship it's holding you back. your post doesnt sound like he makes you happy however if he does, maybe there's something worth there though... its sounds dead to me.
have fun and move on :) xxx
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