A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently joined a club at uni and got to know the committee members. All of them are very friendly and very nice. I didn't have any problems talking to all of them and being my usual self by laughing and teasing them. I felt very confident and happy when I was talking with them. I'm starting to realize that I like one of the girls in the committee but I'm not sure whether she's flirting with me or when I should make a move and ask her out. When should I draw the line from being flirty to letting her know I'm interested. So far I've only met her twice but both times I always tease her and she's even played a trick on me too (putting things without me knowing in my backpack behind me)Is it too soon or would it appear too desperate if I added her on facebook or asked for her no. the next time we meet?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Cerberus. I have a new wondering: i actually flirted with this girl's friend (girl B) the day before as well. Girl B mustve told this girl about me flirting coss she knew that i was with girl B even though i didnt tell her about it.ve stopped flirting with girl B coss ive found out she has a bf. is it possible that girl B couldve said something bad about my flirting or character to this girl that i wanna ask out, since they're friends and im like the new guy?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): "If i manage to talk to her enough that evening and if I feel right i might ask her to something"
Get rid of that attitude. Make sure you talk to her, you like this girl and want to ask her out, then show interest.
Don't wait until it feels right either, seriously just make sure you ask her out. You know sitting there waiting for "the right moment" means you're over thinking things and you might bottle it.
Go over and talk to her while you are at that meeting, make sure you do. You see all this flirting and teasing is just a prelude to asking her out. She's already comfortable with you to do that with so the next step is to ask her out to bowling or whatever fun casual thing you can think of.
Consider the meeting a dating dry run, so talk to her and fun with her at that meeting then casually bring up the idea of meeting up again for bowling etc.
2 things you should do at that meeting, make sure you talk to her for a little while and make sure before it ends you ask her out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i would like to make my intentions clear and i think me teasing and playful nature has been ok for the first two times ive met her.
Its a new uni club that ive joined so i dont really noe anyone in it, but im able to connect with alot of them because we are from the same country overseas.
We will be meeting as a club for a food night next week and im thinking of continuing my teasing in person there coss fb just seems so impersonal. If i manage to talk to her enough that evening and if I feel right i might ask her to something like bowling coss its fast and informal. Wat do you think?
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A
female
reader, funkymonkey123  +, writes (4 March 2011):
if you dont want to make it official at first you could always make it a group activity. have you any friends in common? if not add her as a friend on facebook and talk to her casually for a week or so both on facenook and in person. then maybe ask her out for a drink the worst that can happen is she'll say no or decline your facebook invite
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 Ask her out. The sooner they better. Make it a casual date or a real fun one, like go go cart racing or something less romantic and unexpected.
If she says no, then carry on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): The sooner the better. Always. Because if doesn't happen now it probably never will and if it's not going to happen now then it's better you know that.
People that say timing is everything are the ones sitting at home wondering why they're single.
Look if you ask her out and she says no then fine, you know where you stand. It doesn't mean you can't continue to get to know her anyway. If she's the kind of girl that doesn't say yeah to guys straight away she'll let you know and you can take the approach of getting to know her then and seeing where it goes from there.
Look in my experience it's better if the girl knows straight away you're interested in her, that way she won't think you're some sneaky creep acting like her friend when you really want to get with her. Girls like guys who will pursue them and make their intentions clear from the start. They also like guys who don't give up easily but you have to balance that carefully. If she says no and gives a reason then don't ask again or try it on with her but take the foot off the gas and let her get to know you without the pressure of dating and see where that goes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): You know the best time to ask anyone out is the time when this question comes into your mind. Seriously as soon as you realize you want to do it, that is the perfect time to do it.Do not hesitate, do not be unsure of yourself just go ahead and do it. Do it now, add her on facebook and the next chance you get think of something fun to do and ask her if she wants to join you. Your starting to over think things when that happens you can easily hesitate too much and lose your opportunity.Seriously the only way to get success in asking girls out is to do it the instant you realize you want to and be confident of success. She may say yes, she may say no but that is unlikely to change whether you do it now or later, the one thing that will happen if you leave it too long is someone else might get there or even worse you let the doubts in your mind grow and you lose the confidence in asking her out because you're too afraid of rejection because you like her too much. Always just go for it without thinking, you see a nice girl go over and talk to her, if you seem to click ask her out.
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female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (3 March 2011):
 Yea i agree. The worst thing she can say is no anyway. I say go for it. If you don't wanna ask face to face add her on Facebook and send her a private message asking if she would like to go out sometime. Something casual.I hope this helps =)And good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut alot of ppl say timing is everything. Do u think its too soon and should i maybe send her some more signals like touching her hand or getting closer first??
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