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female
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*olphin2000
writes: Trying to figure out if I am too sensitive...My fiance (seems like) on a regular basis makes comments such as "she has nice breasts" or "she is really hot" in front of me. I told him that his comments are hurtful, but he continues to do it. Am I the only women in this world that gets upset about this...am I being too sensitive? Please let me know...Too sensitive???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): what a pig....only one solution for this im sorry....ditch him
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female
reader, CherryVanilli  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 My bf does the same thing! but he does it to tease me, besides some gurls get over dressed to attract eyes, I told him if he looked again I'd leave & that maybe he should go sit with them instead, then he just holds me closer & stops lookin, he said he's doin it to tease me, I did the same thing & looked once at a guy, he got so jealous I told him c how it feels, so don't do it again...
so just threaten that u'd leave & let him know that it hurts u....
Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): My Dad's rule of thumb...make it no longer than three seconds.
We do look at attractive people, both male and female.
We need to show restraint and consideration as this denotes you do have respect for the person you are with; to obstain from oogling others.
Practice the rule of thumb.
When you are in fact secure with yourself and your relationship; you can overlook the three second look.
When the relationship has taken a blow in the trust department; when the trust and repsect have been breached...the three second look becomes a big issues of pain and unworthiness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): as a man i'll admit i do look at women if I think they are attractive, even when I'm in a relationship, BUT, I would never look at another girl or even comment on how another girl looks if I'm with my girlfriend. This is because to me no girl is more attractive than her (sorry to all female readers!).
You need to give him an ultimatum, tell him to stop with commenting and perving, or you'll leave him. You have to be strong and stand by this, if he really cares for you he'll stop it, if not leave him you deserve.
I'm a sensitive person, but I wouldn't accept someone who tries to takes me for granted.
I hope this helps!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): He sound very insenstive and unaware of how to treat the woman he is with...there is little consideration on his part in his comments.
If he can not hear that his comments are hurting you and he still continues to do so...he wants to hurt you. He delights in hurting you. He doesn't care love and you need to move on.
That is a warning sign of a very emotional abusive man.
Please be careful if you decide to stick around.
I say now is the time to set some ground rules for yourself...what you will not tolerate from another person and what you want and expect in a life partner.
He doesn't repsect you; he thinks you are undeserving of this.
He doesn't care about what you think and feel; he goes out of his way to keep doing things he knows hurts you.
He wants you to feel ugly, unloved as this is how he gets his power over you...this in turn is how he can control.
Sweetie...be tough and leave him. If he asks why, tell him that you deserve and want a good, loving man who can take your feelings and thoughts into consideration and stop from hurting you.
*hugs*
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female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 Hey there,
I don't think you're being too sensitive at all. The fact that you have talked to him about how it makes you feel and that it is hurtful towards you shows that he isn't willing to alter his behaviour based on the love of his lifes feelings!
Did you say to him, look honey, I don't give a rats arse if you look when you're on your own/with your mates (tho we would all like to think our BF's don't look at all, but we mustnt distort reality) but it is a matter of manners to respect my feelings and make me feel like the most beautiful and only girl in your vision when you're out with me.
This has absolutely nothing to do with you being insecure or sensitive, as I said, it is just a matter of respect towards you. If my partner was doing this I would be getting very annoyed, upset, angry, especially if he kept doing it after I has brought to his attention that it was hurtful towards me.
I'm a little worried that he has kept this up after you have talked to him, what will this mean for other things in the future you talk to him about that are hurtful towards you? Is he just going to ignore you and continue without taking into consideration your feelings?
You are not being too sensitive love, your hurt is completely understandable. I think you need to talk to him again and really hit home that it is really upsetting you and could he please stop commenting on people around you when you are together.
I found this great blog you might want to check out...
http://buttercupandbean.blogspot.com/2006/04/matter-of-manners.html
xxx
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