A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend so much and yet have never felt so confused as well. We have been in a long distance relationship for just over a year. He has gone from being the most attentive, affectionate and wonderful man who wanted to spend time just with me in the first 10 months to very distant and cold where he tends only to see me if his friends are about (it is like we are being chaperoned!) . (Looking back, 8 months into the relationship he was very keen for us to move in together but I thought it was too soon and I had a feeling I was going to be made redundant (which I was right about). Also, around this time we had problems sexually which means we haven't had sex in 8 months. I think he is scared of hurting me so won't even try now.)Anyway, we went out for dinner with friends on Friday and it had been the first time I had seen him for 3 weeks. He was really poorly and I think he should have been in bed, so I figured that he must really love me if he came all that way to see me and treat me to dinner. On the other hand, he spent some time staring at a blonde girl at the next table and after the meal him and his friend left me sitting at the bar twiddling my thumbs while they went off to play games. I feel like he has lost interest in me. We don't laugh and joke together anymore. I felt quite jealous (I am not a jealous person) when he was laughing and joking with his best friend because I wished my boyfriend would smile at me. At the end of the evening he told me that he would text me the following day (Saturday) and that text never arrived. I have noticed a pattern developing lately where he will not contact me at the weekend. It is almost like he is trying to keep his weekends free for some reason. I just can't put my finger on what is going on.For the last few months I tried to arrange a dinner between our parents which would have occurred last weekend, but it never happened because his parents' friend was on their death bed (I know this part is true, but given my boyfriend’s habit of not texting me most weekends Iam sure it is not the whole story).I haven't text him to see if he is o.k because I am fed up with being the one to do it and that waiting for him to reply. I have still received no contact from my boyfriend 6 days later which is the longest he has ever not contacted me.I have been getting on with my life and making my own plans.Am I being hard hearted in thinking that even if you are ill and your family friend is on their deathbed you are still able to, and should, (unless all your fingers and thumbs have been chopped off!) send your partner a text?
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best friend, jealous, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): One thing is for sure, this guy is just not that "into" you. Best you just move forward and let him be. When he eventually make contact, if he does; just inform him that you are not a sparewheel any longer and that you want a break.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): I am the original poster of the question. Thank you so much for the advice. I have been through the most traumatic break-up before where my ex-boyfriend suddenly decided to cut me out of his life with no explanation, met up with me two weeks later to break up with me and said such unkind things to me I even contemplated suicide for a while. I simply didn't recognise the man sat in front of me who was saying all this stuff. Well I survived it to move on, even if the pattern is starting all over again! I may find it harder this time because I really thought this guy was The One, and again I have been given no explanation, or I may find it easier because I have been through it before. Only time will tell, but I know I will survive it...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): You are right, there is absolutely no reason why he cannot text you. It is plain and simple, he is avoiding you and his feelings aren't as strong as yours. You need to be strong enough to step outside this relationship and build a new life with someone who really does give a damm. Hope this helps.
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