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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I could never date a non vegan, it doesn't matter how nice they are I just never could! Am I being ridiculous? Also why do people resent vegitarians and vegans? I have a few ideas why but would just like to know what you guys think! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): Hmm, well I think if you say "I don't eat animal produce", that really has some overtones of moral superiority about it. I would hope you also say thank you for the offer of whatever it is rather than just declining.
Do you wear leather/use animal based glues/use medicines which may have been tested on animals/etc, or is it just the eating of animal products that you object to. I think it is this selectivity which sometimes annoys people, along with the idea that not using animal products makes one somehow better than someone who does.
I am interested to know why you wouldn't date a non-vegan? You are not clear about your reasons.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (23 June 2010):
 Here's where you've started people's resentment. "I just say 'oh I don't eat animal produce' and leave it at that." Why just not say, "No thank you?" I don't eat vegetables. When offered, I simply say, "No thanks, I'm not hungry." I don't say, "Veggies are what my food eats."
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female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 As someone who works with a lot of vegans and vegetarians, I often get the impression that they do think they have a moral high ground over us lowly mean meat eaters.
They insist on telling at every opportunity how they will not eat meat because it is the product of an animals death. However I also know vegetarians who wont eat meat, but will eat fish. This is what annoys me. It's like they can invent their own rules, and then berate others if they dont agree or follow suite.
As far as I am aware, a vegan, does not eat or USE any animal products, so does that mean you do not wear leather shoes, or have a leather handbag? How far do you take your veganism - because an animal would have to die for that too, not just to eat.
I believe everyone has a choice as to how they wish to live their life, and that means accepting other people regardless of their beliefs. In my experience the meat eaters are very accomodating to the vegetarians, but it is often not reciprocated.
As for your dilemma about not dating a non-vegan, what would you do if the man of your dreams walked into your life... he had everything you are looking for in a man, but he liked his meat. Would you throw away the chance of a perfect relationship because of that?
Relationships are about compromise, sometimes you have to accept that people are different and may not share you values, but that doesnt mean that you cannot have successful and fulfilling relationships with them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI purposely don't say anything except, "oh I don't eat animal produce" if someone offers me something with it in. I don't ever explain why but I often get a "vegans are twats (etc) why are you vegan?" but I will actually refuse to explain and I'll just say leave it because if I do explain people just get really pissy. I'm vegan because I don't want to promote horible conditions for animals and I don't say that because that just starts the while you think your so moral blah blah blah thing eventhough I do think it's ridiculous that people aren't even sometimes aware of where there food comes from!! A person II know was like "is milk from an animal?!" how are people so ignorant, I know that isn't a normal question and this kid is particularly thick but I do get alot of people who don't even know that hat there eating is only there because an animal suffered for it!!
People don't even equate meat with an animals death any more.
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (22 June 2010):
 You have a right to choose to date vegans, for the simple reason that who you date is a matter of your choice.
On the other hand, it would narrow your choice considerably, so that's somethin you may need to think about.
Regarding why people resent vegans/vegetarians, let me assure you that most reasonable people don't care what the next person shovels into his mouth. It's the snobbery and moral high ground that a lot of vegans/vegetarians adopt that breeds resentment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): Yes I think it's a bit weird if you couldn't accept someone else's food tastes! Fine be a vegan but not everyone you meet / fall in love with should be just to please you.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 June 2010):
 I don't resent vegans or vegetarians at all. In fact, a couple we're friendly with are vegetarian, and we get together for dinner quite often. We don't order meat when we're with them, and we don't mind. They tell us to order what we'd like, they have no problem with it, but we just choose to order dishes that we all can enjoy.
I would guess that if you are feeling judged or resented, perhaps there's something in your approach to being vegan that may irritate people? Do you say or do anything that would cause that sort of reaction?
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female
reader, romany +, writes (22 June 2010):
 I dont resent anyone, but i do think some (Most) of the veggies and vegans i've met think and act like they are superior to me.
Actually while your on here, I watched big brother tonight, and they were showing that weird bird sunshine, (thought she was weird before i knew she was vegan) asking not to have dinner with honey on, as she said, she couldn't have honey, as she doesn't eat nothing that is from a animal!!???!!!!
So can i ask you, Is this normal practice for a vegan, to not eat honey?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 June 2010):
I used to be pretty hippied out, and had lots of friends who were vegans or vegetarians. Never bothered me unless they tried to belittle my choice in food. I'm a firm believer in the "to each their own" theory of life. I resent anyone who tries to force their lifestyle choice on me. Be it overzelous vegan, religious people, politicians, the guy at the liquor store who won't suggest anything other than his favorite whiskey...
My guess is that you've found resentment because you'll only socialize with other vegans. In a way, it's telling everyone else that you feel superior to them.
As far as dating, I hope you love hippies (and I'm guessing that isn't a problem), because it is really REALLY rare to find a guy who doesn't eat meat. Let alone dairy... Hell, I've never known a hippie who will turn down a grilled cheese.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 June 2010):
 You're not being too fussy for not wanting to date a non-vegan any more than a Republican not wanting to date a Democrat.
People don't resent vegetarians or vegans on the basis of what they choose to eat. The sense of resentment comes from the message of a few that being a vegetarian or vegan represents moral superiority over people who eat meat.
Animal rights groups sometimes reinforce that resentment by sending the message that meat eaters are willfully causing the inhumane treatment of animals, and that it should be a crime against humanity to eat meat or meat products.
I have a brother-in-law and a best friend who are vegetarian, and I completely respect and don't resent them for their choices, and they respect my choice to enjoy meat. If I weren't married, would I date a vegetarian? I don't think I would because eating is one of the main ways people socialize together, and it would put a handicap on places to enjoy.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 June 2010):
My mother and brother are vegetarians, and my sister and I are both meat eaters. We get along very nicely. I don't resent vegetarians or vegans at all. You'll find it very hard to find a guy who doesn't eat meat. But there must be a few. So if that's what you believe, then stick with it.
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