A
male
age
26-29,
*enis49
writes:Hi there everyoneI'm approaching a point where I don't even know what to do about anything. I'm a senior in high school, never been in a relationship, OK looks and struggling to start a relationship with a girl who can be honest with me about why she can't go out with me, and I'm outgrowing all of my disloyal friends. I've been brought up to be true to your word, do what you commit yourself to, and be a mature as possible due to some personal circumstances that came along when I was very young. (my father passed away very suddenly) I can't find anybody in my class, in my school, or really at any other school in my area who will be the kind of friend I am to them in return.Lately I've just detached myself from those who walked all over me, and I'm left with 2 girls who I hang out with at school during lunch who are in relationships.I'm getting sick of them too unfortunately. I'm not trying to be picky, I'm sick of excuses and immaturity coming from everyone around me.Now, about the other girl... I've written about her on this website previously and got some very good advice, but lately I haven't been able to see her because she has shot down EVERY SINGLE PLAN. I try to make with her. I don't know if I'm being lead on or she just isn't telling me something. I don't harass her with texts every day asking if she wants to do something, I realize she has schoolwork and we don't live very close to each other (25 minute drive). It's 1 text on Thursday or Friday asking if she has time to hang out or catch a movie over the weekend. I get a no, a kind of lame excuse and a maybe next time with a new suggestion about what we can do when we see each other next. I'm convinced it's parent related but I just don't know. The texting has been less frequent, she isn't texting first anymore, and she is getting shorter and ruder with all of her responses. (Asked her to see the perks of a wallflower movie in theaters and she said she had to read the book first, I told her it might be out of the theaters and it looked really good and she said I guess you'll just have to see it without me). wtf is that? I don't know what kind of lull my timeline is in at the moment, but I still think I'm not in the wrong at all. I kind of want to know if I'm being too critical of my surroundings and of those in it. Also... how much longer should I keep trying to be with this girl? I asked her out almost 2 months ago and got a "lets wait until I get to know you better". She won't take the initiative with anything, we're moving at a crawl, and where not even in a "serious" relationship. Thanks to those who made it to the end of my pity party rant.Any response regardless of it's nature (honest, critical, etc.) would be greatly appreciated!Thanks!
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male
reader, denis49 +, writes (12 October 2012):
denis49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice!I am someone with a lot going on, I have 4 jobs per se (2 paying, a volunteer and an intern.) I play guitar in a preforming band in my area and I have plenty of other hobbies too. The only reason I kept going on with her was because she came on so strong. I could take or leave high school, I am actually a dual enrolled student with high school and college classes. I always try to live in the moment but the problem is that i cant find a friend, a GF, anything that will do anything, anywhere. nobody will make a plan.Again, thanks for the advice, I really do appreciate it!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 October 2012):
 The girl you have been seeing is not that into you. She keeps shooting you down. That means she is too much of a coward to tell you, look I'm not really interested in you.
Also, I think texting a girl on maybe Monday/Tuesday instead of Thursday/Friday to see if their week-end is free. Texting them last minute make it seem like you expect them to have no plans and that they sit around waiting for you to ask them out, if you get my meaning. Now I'm not saying the girl you have been in touch with will change her mind if you text a couple of days earlier - that ship has sailed - but I mean it as more general advice.
As far as not finding any one at school. It happens, but that doesn't mean you need to isolate yourself socially.
Are there any clubs at school you might want to join? Or some hobby after school? Or even a part time job after school - you never know when you meet someone interesting, but they don't just drop by your house. You have to put yourself out there.
In a sense I do agree with the STOP looking advice. Don't go looking for a GF, but look for new people to get to know, new experiences and so forth. Expand your horizon.
And relax. There is plenty of time.
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