A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm very confused and need advice please.a guy at work started 6 months ago and from the start i have been attracted to him. we have become very close friends but no more and for now im happy with that, hes just got divorced from his wife and she left him last september for another man so the last few months i have been a rock to him supporting him emotionally and just basically being a good friend.whats upsetting me is i think he hasnt been totally honest with me and i dont know why. hes been honest about his wife etc and we've had very intense conversations but its just other stuff like he says he owns 2 houses in other countries and there's this female he's known for years who he likes and he's looking at dating her - unaware of my feelings. we do get on really well but like today for the first time he asked me to go out with him and his mates -socially and then cancelled at the last minute saying his personal mobile had broke and was in a shop and he couldnt take his work phone and had to rush to see his ill dad up north - just seemed weird. am i a fool? he says im a very close friend to him but i cant help but get nagging doubts sometimes whether he's honest about stuff and there's no way i can check so im just left not knowing. I'm a very good friend and like complete honesty. it hurts more that i adore him and im very confused please can anyone advise me.
View related questions:
at work, divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (13 February 2010):
 Hi hun. I'm really sorry to break this to you but he's just not that into you.
Don't adore someone you don't event trust, you shouldn't be thinking like this about him cos this is all a one way street.
You're not being honest with him anyway cos you like him far more than a friend. If you value honesty so much, why aren't you telling him how you feel?
You don't for the same reasons he's not straight with you. Sometimes you just can't say stuff for various reasons.
I bet he has a good idea how you feel about him.
If he liked you, he'd be with you. Please save all your devotion for a guy who likes you as much as you like them.
He's an energy vampire, draining you for nothing in return.
I worry that he may use you for an ego boost if things don't pan out for him with this other woman and you'll be hurt.
A
male
reader, popeye78 +, writes (13 February 2010):
Its a tricky thing.. there are a number of options. He doesnt know how you feel about him, maybe he doesnt see the same need as you to be honest and upfront about everything. Dont get me wrong honesty is very important in a relationship and with prospective partners but if he doesnt see you that way (yet) then maybe he doesnt feel the need to completely expose himself to you.
I also think his divorce may have hurt him deeply, it sounds like he was badly betrayed. Again maybe at the moment he doesnt feel the need to be completely honest with people. When you are hurt badly you often forget about other peoples feelings for a time period.
Mentioning the whole girl thing I dont think you can blame him, if he doesnt know how you feel then he cant know how much that will hurt you.
Stick being his freind, try not to become too attached, people who tell multiple lies about thier life will always be caught out in the end.
...............................
|
