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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So I don't want this to come across as being very spoilt or like I'm entitled but me and my other half of 4 years have been saving for a deposit for our own place, this year after having a special event on at work I have been working 12 days on and one off for 3 months, I've been banking the hours to go towards the new house but after all the working I just really need a break! A cheap escape for a week abroad would do me fine! The only problem is that while I've been working my butt off my other half has been on several camping trips on his own and a holiday to abroad with his mates and used up all his holiday days, I can't help but feel really pee'd off, I've just really been looking forward to some quality time together! I suggested that I might book a weekend by myself abroad just to relax and he flew off the handle that it's a stupid idea, I get that he could just be worried that I'd be alone in a different country but I don't think he gets that I'm fed up! Back story, he is a little lazy and even whilst working crazy hours I've still been tidying up/making tea all whilst he stays at my parents houseAlso I can't book a break with friends as they've already been while I wasn't allowed time off work soo I literally have no one to go with! Am I being stupid? I just feel like I've worked really hard and I have tons of holiday days left to take from work and I just don't want to sit at home!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015): GO ON YOUR OWN!!
You need to sort out your relationship balance too - why are you doing all the cooking and tidying when your partner should also be earning his stay at your parents by chipping in with his share of the chores? Why is it ok for him to go on a few holidays and you have nothing?
My family are all very independent. My cousin has been away since May in South America, Australia and Asia. I've explored the USA, lots Europe and even gone off in my home country just me and my dog. I love going away with my husband but his work doesn't always allow him to get the same time off - and working in a school my time off is not negotiable! Whilst going away as a solo female traveller clearly poses risks, you can't spend your life not living and just worrying about 'what ifs'. Either arrange a trip somewhere relatively tourist friendly or join a tour group. Your partner should support you, and encourage you, not flip over it.
You go away, lnd while you're away think long and hard if you want to tie yourself to a man who wouldn't save any time off to be with you, doesn't help with basic chores and has his own insecurities by trying to stop you going away. I certainly wouldn't be buying a house with this kind of guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015): Oh no, not at all,my dear! You've earned your time, and you're over-due a little independence; for being the one who is most committed to make your dream of being a homeowner come true.
You're already showing signs of resentment towards your mate; so in spite of his tantrums and protests, do what your body and mind needs. Get some rest, take that vacation abroad; and make him miss you. He'll take you less for granted. Let him have to clean-up after himself for a change.
Sometimes you have to do what's best to keep yourself sane.
Your boyfriend is selfish, and perhaps legitimately concerned about you traveling alone. You're a big girl, and probably did it before you met him. You may have had friends along; but you're still responsible for your own personal-safety. That depends on your own wits and street-smarts.
Have you forgotten you're a grown-woman and you don't require permission to do things from anyone? Go online, and pick your spot! Bon voyage and godspeed to you, sweetie!!!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 August 2015):
 Go on your own. Enjoy your time off! It's GREAT to go alone, actually, if you've yet not experienced it. You can go exactly where you want, see what you want, eat when and where you want, and suddenly change plans if you want. It's amazing, liberating, and opens up a whole new way of traveling and exploring. You get many more options than if you're traveling in a group or with another person.
Then again, if you really want to be with others, there are always travel agencies that arrange group travels, so that you will not travel alone. Use Kilroy travels, for example, they have group tours for young people: http://travels.kilroy.net/
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 August 2015):
 Go by yourself.. You could go to an exitic place and just watch TV or go out to eat. Get away from the routine Be alive!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 August 2015):
 Go on your own!
Trust me! I took 10 days in Tuscany on a solo vacation it was amazing. It was about a year after my first BF and I broke up and I just needed to get out and away.
I stayed at a family run B&B, rented a scooter and just saw the sights. I got invited to several dinners an a wedding while there lol And I'm NOT a hugely social butterfly - I'm actually a bit awkward with people I don't know - for whatever reason no one seemed to notice that. Great food, great people, lovely sights and one of the most amazing vacations I have ever had. People thought I was crazy for doing it.
It's not for your BF to dictate whether you can do this or not. It's up to you.
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