Our drunken fumbles don't mean as much to me as our friendship! I need to tell her

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My best friend and I are both bi. Me perhaps more so although I was much later coming out. The night I told her, she jumped me and we kissed for a long time but never spoke of it again. In the past 3 years this has continued to happen every few months, where it will happen a few times and then nothing again. During this time we are able to have areallynice friendship and she is very important to me. This happened again at the weekend and although I like her, her friendship is more important to me and I am worried that by allowing this to keep happening, it may damage us eventually since we are both drunk when it happens, we both harbour deep feelings we cannot discuss but ultimately I know we will be better as friends. When sober I only see her as a good friend, I am not sure why it gets so passionate after wine. I don't believe she would want anything more anyway, in fact I'm almost certain, therefore our encounters are pointless anyway. I want to get the courage to have a conversation so we can discuss and move on so it doesnt happen again. I want to tell her our friendship is more important to me than our drunken fumbles although we both seem unable to stop them when they start. How can I talk to her about this. What shall I say.?

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A male reader, IanHenryCooper  +, writes (13 August 2015):

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