A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes my boyfriend’s family make me feel swamped. They talk business all the time. My boyfriend and I both attended high school together and University together though he is one year ahead of me. The plan is to finish our studies and do some travel and then settle down. I still want to settle down with him. But every time I suggest some travel together he says next year will be fine but not yet.I am trying to plan my time for the following year. In the holiday season I could work. And my boyfriends family have offered me a job in their business. Its tempting and I’ve done it before and saved up some money for some travelling. but my boyfriend is not happy. He does not want me to take off and travel and he wants me to wait until he can travel with me too. He’s put me off before and so now I am thinking of traveling without him. Trouble is he works hard and his father is always finding new projects for him. In February a lovely Aunt who I loved left me a small nest egg as well. After I finish my studies next year I will be looking for a job. I think I am old enough now to do some travel now. So why cant my boyfriend trust me? He keeps on showing me stories in the newspapers of tourists who come to grief overseas. I am not sure which countries I might like to visit yet because there are so many choices. I am trying to narrow it down to no more than three countries or perhaps two. So that I can immerse myself in the culture and the life and how things are in those other countries. I have thought of travelling with two other girlfriends but none of them want to travel like I do. And my boyfriend is becoming hostile to the whole idea of travelling. So how can I travel and not upset my boyfriend. I have assured him that I'll send him photos and keep in regular contact with him online. But he’s acting like I am betraying him for even wanting to travel overseas without him. Am I being selfish as he claims?
View related questions:
money, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (23 May 2013):
 like Serpico I like the sound of his work ethic. But I also think the time is right to think about travel next year. You are planning in advance. Next year is a long way off. Surely your Bf can rearrange his schedule for next year to do some travelling with you, even if for part of your holiday.
Once you start working you will not get the time.
Then once you move towards a more permanent commitment and need to sort out all the arrangements for that you will not have the time.
And if your Bf starts devoting more time to the business then he will not have the time.
Then once babies arrive you and their father will be consumed with your growing family, and you will both not have the time.
You have needs and so does your Bf. But your needs should not be ignored. The time is right to spread your wings and enjoy this life changing opportunity.
Definitely Go for it and book that holiday. Explain to your Bf why it is so important. And encourage him to consider taking time to travel some of the way with you.
Start as you mean to go on in this relationship. You have rights and needs.
Everyone needs vacation time. And if your Bf thinks he can't take some time off, some of the time, then he needs to appraise his own life balance. All work and no play is dull, and not good for anyone.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (23 May 2013):
 IF your boyfriend has put you off before and is now getting angry that you still want to travel suggest to me he isn't really interested in travelling at all.
If he persists in saying "next year" remind him there are some great savings to be made if you book tickets well in advance. If he shows interest, or even better gets excited about deciding where to start and the optimum time to get your tickets then hold off travelling and wait for him.
If you get the idea he is just fobbing you off then you have a choice to make, keep puttng your dream on hold and letting him fob you off when he has no intentions of following through or to grab your passport and pack your bags.
Sure, we hear some dreadful stories about what happens to some girls when they are travelling, but we also hear dreadful stories about what happens to travellers when they are visiting here.
The face your boyfriend is getting angry when you want to follow your dream makes me ask what other of your dreams will he try and squash.
Go travelling, yes, it would be great if he will go with you but if he wont then go alone. Better to go now while your knees will still let you climb thousands and thousands of steps, while your lungs will still breath the air you need, before your eyes start failing, and before your memory lapses.
...............................
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (23 May 2013):
 Hi, speak to him dad and tell him you would like to surpise your BF with amn international holiday. I am assuming you can afford his ticket.
Then just go ahead and book the trip. Hopefully everything works out for you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (23 May 2013):
Dunno, if I were in your shoes instead of worrying about vacations Id be thrilled that I had someone who was so hard working and industrious at such a young age.Its not like he's not traveling because he out partying and drinking with his friends, he's WORKING. Im sure he'd rather be laying on some beach somewhere as well, but that doesn't keep a business running....
...............................
|
