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male
,
anonymous
writes: Please can you tell me whether you think this arrangement is fair. I have just started a relationship with a girl who has a young daughter. She has told me that I will only be able to see her one evening a week and every other weekend - when her ex-partner has the daughter. She is happy for me to call/text at all other times. Problem is - I want to see more of her cause I really miss her!! Am I being a bit selfish? Or is that acceptable on her part?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2006): Remember, being a single mom, she may not be able to afford that babysitter! It would help if you told her that you would pay for that expense.
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (26 February 2006):
 If she can trust someone to look after her daughter for one night a week...i cant see the harm in suggesting that.Mind you,she might say no....but you will have to go with what ever she wants as she does have the responsibility of her child to think about.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (26 February 2006):
If she can trust someone to look after her daughter for one night a week...i cant see the harm in suggesting that.Mind you,she might say no....but you will have to go with what ever she wants as she does have the responsibility of her child to think about.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (26 February 2006):
If she can trust someone to look after her daughter for one night a week...i cant see the harm in suggesting that.Mind you,she might say no....but you will have to go with what ever she wants as she does have the responsibility of her child to think about.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (26 February 2006):
If she can trust someone to look after her daughter for one night a week...i cant see the harm in suggesting that.Mind you,she might say no....but you will have to go with what ever she wants as she does have the responsibility of her child to think about.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (26 February 2006):
If she can trust someone to look after her daughter for one night a week...i cant see the harm in suggesting that.Mind you,she might say no....but you will have to go with what ever she wants as she does have the responsibility of her child to think about.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2006): Thanks for your replies - I originally asked the question anonymously. Only thing is she hasn't once broached the issue of a babysitter and I don't want to for fear of somehow offending her. Would it be 'out of order' for me to suggest that maybe one night a week she might consider getting a babysitter in to allow us some time to work on our relationship, or would that be tantamount to playing with fire..?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2006): No, you are not being selfish. But, I think you don't fathom the importance of what she's doing. You view her as a love interest..but she is also a Mother and it sounds to me that your gf is being cautious. She's simply keeping her romantic life totally separate from her daughter's life and I commend her for that. This means she priorizes her daughter's emotional well-being and realizes how her world can be affected by Mom dating a new man. If this relationship is new, she is holding off having you come into her daughter's world until this relationship is on solid ground and the trust is in place. So yes, her behaviour is not only acceptable..it's a sensible, smart move. Don't be offended by what she's doing...you would do the same if you were in her shoes. And if she's important to you, you will respect and agree to this arrangement until she is ready to introduce you to her daughter. Be patient and it will happen in time.
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A
female
reader, wookiee's girlfriend +, writes (25 February 2006):
 if the problem is that her daughter is 'in the way' why don't you suggest to do things together as a three, and be more social with the daughter. this may also get you extra 'brownie points' if the relationship carries on. the relationship with the child is important. hope this helps.
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