A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there I have been dating this guy for 3 years and we are still madly in love. The problem is I have cheated twice during those years. I feel bad but dont want to lose him. I have changed my ways and dont cheat anymore, the relationship is still wonderful. Should I tell him about me cheating or should I just forget about it and move on with him and let the past be the past.I really love him and dont want to loose him. I know If I tell him I might lose him for good. Am I being selfish by not telling him this.
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male
reader, Jubbaloo  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 I am (not literally) your boyfriend. My partner has cheated on me, she doesnt think i know. If she doesnt tell me in a week i am going to break up with her. YOu have to tell him for the sake of him and love. Please, if my partner would have told me, things would be so much better
A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (22 May 2007):
oh dear, another ' i really love him yet i'm going to betray his trust and love and sleep with lots of people behind his back' question.
are you selfish by not telling him? no, are your selfish for actually doing it? HELL YES.
how can you dare tell anyone including yourself that you love this man when you've cheated on him twice?
if you have one drop of love for this man you'll do him a big favour and tell him the truth and let him find a decent loving woman to be with rather than a cheat!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): Since you have cheated on him TWICE it would suggest that you cant love him as much as you say you do. There are reasons why yu cheated which you need to address otherwise you will only cheat on him again. Just think if you were on the recieving end. Telling him that you have cheated all depends on what type of relationship you have. But if you do decide to tell him be prepared that it might end your relationship.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 You need to tell him. One way or the other, he'll find out. Guys talk to each other, and someone down the line will let him know. You're right, you're probably going to lose him, but that was your choice. You knew exactly what you were doing when you made the choice to cheat on him. If you cheat on someone, it generally means that they aren't pulling their part of the relationship, and aren't satisfying you. It sounds mean, but unless he has been unfaithful to you, you don't deserve him. You broke his trust twice, and don't even think enough of him to let him know. You obviously don't love him enough.
DV1
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): If you are mending your ways what purpose would it serve to tell him.It would cause him alot of pain which I guess keeping this secret from his is giving you.Learn from your mistakes but I wouldnt confess.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): Well one thing that is clear is that you have a conscience,rather than just a fear of being caught.Being on the other end of this i`d rather know than find out from someone else. i would say reluctantly that if theres no chance of him finding out,it would be better to say nothing. After having a cheating lying woman for over 3 years, i can see that youve punished yourself enough over this,and a lot of people wouldnt care until they were caught.Keep quiet and learn from this.
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