A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm very sorry that this is a bit long,I regularly go down to the gay bar where I live and theres a guy who works there. One night it was karaoke night and I went up and did a few songs (I am a terrible singer by the way) anyways, when buying a few drinks the guy started to make fun of the fact I can't sing and me and him were playfully insulting each other. It was great.The following week it was my birthday and he bought me a bottle of champagne. It was just him that bought it. I was soo happy, it made my night.I think I have completely fallin for him. He is deffinatly gay and I think about him all the time and how happy I am when I speak to him.Last week he was at the pub and wasn't working. He came up to me and we snogged. He then told me that he really likes me and wants to have a relationship with me. But at this time he was extremly drunk. I got his number from him though.This conversation has been playing on my mind. But I've heard hes a bit of a player and was terrifed that he was playing me. So I texted him asking if he meant what he said to me or was it just the drink talking. He didn't reply but I know hes been texting people since.A couple of days later I managed to get a text conversation going and I brought it up again, he never replied again.I have so badly fallin for him and I really want it to work out but I'm terrified that he has been playing me and I've humiliated myself.I have a feeling hes told everybody else he works with what is going on and I'm to scared to go into the pub now incase I'm the laughing stock of the place. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, I just needed to know if he was playing me or not. It's just very hard because it's happened so many times before and I honestly thought I was getting somewhere with this guy. It's just really hard to accept that nothing is going to happen.
A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 Total player. When drunk, a few hidden feelings can come out maybe he was secretly thinking of being your bf but then, he sobered realized what he said and got scared shitless because he doesn't want to give up his player ways and is scared of commitment. Thats why he chats and then, goes quiet when you try and talk serious. I dont think hes a bad guy, if he was he would have tried to turn you into a booty call or one night stand. Dont be embarassed about going back, be casual and hey, it wouldn't hurt if you walked in next with a gorgeous man who was mad about you and vice versa ;) You'll find an amazing man underneath that pile of frogs. You gotta hurt a little so you can appreciate joy when it comes. xo
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 September 2010):
 I can only count on one hand the monogamous gay males I know..And I have gay friends all over the U.S., actually one in Britain! Chances are if everyone else says he's a player then they aren't lying. He was drunk when he said it and now he's not recalling it. Sorry dear but he's not interested probably already found his next victim. You can still patronize the bar there's no reason not to go. So what if he bartends there, you can go back in, get really wasted, and brush off the situation.
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