A
female
age
51-59,
*nsureInOhio
writes:Because of my past, I am aware and working on some insecurities I have. My husband is loving and understands this. However, he persists to do and say things that intensifies my fears and lack of trust. He is secretive about alot of things, hides emails, texts from me. If he has been gone for hours, and I ask where he's been, he gets upset with me. He continually keeps in secret contact with two particular ex's,(no children involved) in which I have clearly stated how uncomfortable I am about (there are issues and circumstances regarding these two particular women).When I try to express any of this to him, he gets defensive and agitated.I want to be a good wife to him, and I want to trust him. But he knows what I went through, tells me that he is different and will be there for me... then behaves in the same mannerism.Am I being too paranoid and try not let it get me, or should I read the signs (the same signs I have seen before) and listen to my instinct?
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female
reader, UnsureInOhio +, writes (22 January 2009):
UnsureInOhio is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much... to all of you.
I had thought that I was the only one feeling this way.
I have confronted him, and of course a big spat turned out and now he threats with divorce.
I guess no one should live like that.
Again.... THANK YOU!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): Go with your instincts, i've been in exactly the same situation as you, my husband did the same things as yours, he also was secretly in contact with his ex, this went on for five years, and like you i thought i was being parnoid, and I was the one feeling guilty because I didn't trust him. Then one day he forgot to log off from his emails, and there it all was in black and white, even down to photos of him shagging all different women, this had been going on for years. And like yours my husband was loving and understanding. So my advice to you is don't trust him, don't think your being parnoid, he must be hiding something or why would he be so secretive. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Serenity1 +, writes (20 January 2009):
 listen to your instincts hun...there's no reason to hide texts and emails...NONE...if he is aware of your trust issues he should be more than willing to show you any text and/or email...
i'm sorry but it sounds as though he may be cheating...he needs to start being honest and respectful, by treating you the way he would want to be treated. how would he like it if you didn't want to share texts and emails with him?? how would he like it if you hid them?
i don't think he would like it to much. just keep your eyes open and don't blink...intution and instinct play a role together...they never lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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