A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my Housing Officer for about a year now. We have kept it hidden as he would lose his job if it came out.He's a Housing Officer for our Local Council and I'm a Tenant under the Council. So big no no in his books. I really like him a lot and I'm sure he likes me, I'm a single Mum and became good friends with one of the other single Mums at the Nursery. She goes out a lot and leaves her Child with her Mum every weekend and goes with countless men not my kinda life style choice, tbh. but she kept trying to invite me out with her to meet someone for me. After getting annoyed I told her I had someone and told her I was seeing J (not his name for the sake of this though). Now every time I see her she asks me have I seen him yet? Of course I have is my response. Then today she came up and told me she needed a advice so went to see "J" how lovely his smile is and blah blah. Told me was so lovely to her. Then and I'm not even joking asked me how I got him to start sleeping with me! As if for advice on how to get him! I'm sorry but I spent 6months fighting my feelings for him, he eventually made his move and we have been in a relationship for 12 months. I'm not just sleeping with him.I feel crushed as I thought she was a friend but now seems to want him. I trust him so I know that he wouldn't, why though, when she has all her men she goes on about, does she want mine?What do others think, am I being paranoid or should I be wary of her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2016): I posted this question. Thank you Ivyblue, I would be lying if I said the thought hasn't crossed my mind but he said I'd either have to move or he would be transferred if it came out and the other tenants in the area would also give me a hard time for being with him. So I have stayed with him and kept my mouth shut till now.Look I told one person and look at her reaction, I don't know her well enough but I thought why the sudden interest in him. When she sleeps with anyone who will go with her.Chigirl, if you read the post correctly, yes she does know I am with him. Now she has excuses to contact him for advice and tells me he has a nice smile and how did I get with him? Any other girl I prob would have thought nothing to worry about but as she goes with anyone yes she would go there. I trust that he wouldn't though. He's in his 40s so a good bit older so I guess I trust his judgement and advice over the situation of our relationship. Yes Ivyblu has got me thinking though. I see him through the week but not at weekends as he said he would have to explain why he was here if another Tenant was here. Ect.Even more confusion going on now! :-/
A
female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 No I wouldn't say you are paranoid.I think she is the type of women who needs to have attention. Don't give her anymore information about you and him. She didn't comment or need him before and after you tell her she Suddenly does? Yeah OK.....I don't think this is your main problem though, why does he keep you a secret? Do you ever go to his place or is it always in your house?I think as Ivy blue said, he's married. I doubt it has anything do with his job, if he didn't get you the house or give you it for free, which as it is council would be impossible then nothing could be said. As long as you pay your rent.I'm sorry sweetie but I think this man is married.Suggest going out, or going to his and you will get your answer. Do you really want to be his wee secret? Why would he hide you if he really loved you and was single?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 May 2016):
 You are paranoid, and your friend only goes by the info you have given her. You are dating in secret, how is she supposed to know you have a relationship of a year already? She is blunt, but probably just asked because, as you said, this relationship is a No No. And she was curious on how you made it happen despite this. I dont at all see this as her making a move on him, but you seem like you dont trust people much. I mean, how can she be a friend if she doesnt even know you have a long term relationship?
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (7 May 2016):
You have a weird feeling because she is doing this deliberately. Why? Who knows? Most likely because she is insecure.
Often, women who go off with tons of different men do so because they suffer a desperate need for attention. They sometimes like to set their sights on other womens' boyfriends because they need to see themselves as more desirable than other women. Even if they don't actually want the other woman's boyfriend, they at least need for everyone to know that they could have him if they really wanted to.
It's best to keep our distance from those types. Confronting them will only result in claims of innocence, and trying to make you look like the bad guy.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (7 May 2016):
 I think it wise to be a wee bit wary. Could be she is the type that finds it sporty to try make a play for someone else's bf. Or it could be that she is simple commenting that he has a nice smile etc in a way that says "well done gf...he's alright' kind of thing. Keep an eye on her body language next time, if there is one, talks about him. Im not sure why though, your bf needs to keep your relationship a secret. Perhaps it could be seen as a conflict of interest, but if you don't get any special treatment or you had you housing before you started seeing him I cant see what it has to do with anyone. A year is a long time to be seeing someone, does he take you out in public or is this relationship exclusively taking place under your roof?Because I have to ask and in no way to offend, this being kept a secret, is it really because of his position, are you sure he is not married?
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