A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I a bit of a corner here. I will give you a bit of background so you know what's goin on. First started going out with my boyfriend 4 years ago. Back then his brother was a laugh, you could chat to him an he was really open and friendly at one point openlt addmiting to his brother(my boyfriend) that he found me attractive and he was jealous of him. Then skip forward two years, he started dating another girl at first all seem okay then started the nasty comment behind my back(very thin walls in caravans) It shocked me at first as she had never given any hint that she disliked me until I heard the full extent of her dislike for me in a matter of a few months, as her main complaints seemed quite menial(shes in that bed I want it. She didn't read this book can you believe her. Theres no way her hair does that naturally) to the down right nasty (which for various reasons I cannot repeat on here but you get the gist) so thinking the best option was to talk to my boyfriends mom and dad to my surprise they had heard everything that had been said but told me to say nothing and that they would say nothing. Then after a disastrous holiday I deleted her off my Facebook, I had been reduced to palpitations and fainting randomly and merely told by my doctor it was stress related so I felt deleting her would help. Little did I know she would get so upset ranting and raving at me that she can't believe I did it, and now all her friends know I did it(later on she told me that she had told them all, she contradicts herself often). So after talking and being realistic we agreed to start again so for the last 5 months we did, well I did my boyfriends brother and his girlfriend did all they could to create situations where me and my boyfriend would be seen as then nasty ones. Then recently we were invited to a birthday party, I went with my boyfriend an and best friend we arrived and the girlfriend refused to speak to any of us and spent the whole night not been spoken to by anyone while she drunkenly threw round nasty comments about the three of us. All in all I became clear we were never going to be friends.Now this is the crux of the matter recently I went to seek psychological help for other issue it then became apparent that the two of them were in fact making my problems worse as I was unable to confront them due to my boyfriends mother( she is a whole other story) she suggested that I avoid too much contact with them and when I do see them except that it's there opinion of means I will never change it. With this in mind I went home and began I delete many people from my Facebook who caused me problems realising that after all I don't talk to them in the real world, one person was this girlfriend not only did I delete her I blocked her as I wanted nothing more to do with her. Now I've got the same problem again as last time, personally I have never noticed if people have deleted me As I rarely use Facebook but both the brother and his girlfriend seem really upset and can't understand why after both of them not speaking to me was the straw that broke the camels back.Am I being insensitive? Does Facebook really mean that much to people? And why would she be so upset if she always goes out of her way to pick a fight with me? Feeling rather confused about the whole thing really anyone got any ideas??Thanks for reading
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 Your story is a bit hard to understand. I believe his girlfriend hates you because he likes you and only got with her so he could move on from you. She resents this but loves him. Because they are brothers it means that you have to see each other a lot and act polite. Underneath is the uncontrollable jealousy knowing that if you didn't have your boyfriend his brother would have gotten with you, and not her. I don't think Facebook caused this problem. The anger is from within. She didn't leave you alone after you blocked her because she has this intense energy that has nowhere to go, and that you blocking her is saying that she is a bad person, so that energy is directed back at her. She is toxic. If she feels like second best she has all her power to leave the relationship and be with someone who adores her. Hating you is just counterproductive. Try not to think about her and delete her from your mind also.
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