A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My boyfriend does not tell anyone about me. No one knows about us. I work for him and when I have tried to quit once bcoz of my feelings for him (He was looking for girls for marriage at that time). Prior to this, we were dating but he said he will marryte girl of his mother's choice and from his community. Then he proposed to me and i put him a condition that he has to talk to my brother about it. He did it at that time. After that I am back,and since he keeps me a secret, i get so frustrated. All we do is fight in every 15 days about the girl that he has seen/ about a girl in the office who he is being close to etc. We never go out. He used to take me to movies/ shopping etc earlier. Can you believe it? We haven't done any of that since 1.5 Years. He used to take me to his home (Just as a colleague ofcourse), now he doesn't do that as well.Even for a ceremony performed at the office (He owns the company btw), I was not invited. Infact it was kept a secret. When I ask him about it or about any of these, he says he is under tremendous pressures. He is fine with all other activities though. I understand he cannot tell about me now when he is in a financial mess to his family. But he is so careful that people will not misinterpret him / me dating or something. He behaves very carefully about this.Also he worked recently on a project in US with another girl. He knows I become insecure (I am an insecure person), so he told me that the girl is married with 2 kids...which i understand and feel he said that so that i won't feel bad. But instead of that, couldn't he have told her about me...? Why keep me a secret. He still keeps looking at girl and keeps rejecting them. My mom thinks that he will do that till he finds some one really interesting and then he will dump me. I am going crazy. When I corner him he will accuse me of being jealous and controlling. I don't know what to do. I feel like dying. Am I expecting too much from him? Am I being a pain for a girl friend?
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female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 I agree with you're mom he's not emotionally stable/commited. He says he's under pressure I would listen to him. If you want to keep this guy around don't even show him that you're pressed. Try to suppress you're insecurity and jealousy. Then he will wonder why you're not asking. Dating and most relationships are a game. When he's hot your cold and when your hot he's cold if you can catch my drift. hope this helps
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