A
female
age
51-59,
*oodlebug744
writes:22 years ago I fell in love with my high school sweetheart. After graduation we parted ways and I moved out of state. We reconnected last year on facebook and have been together ever since. He is an alcoholic and uses manipulation and guilt to control me. We are currently living together and finances are very tight. He threatens that he can walk away from me and go back to any of his ex's. When I try to say something he calls me a drama queen and he won't put up with it. Am I being emotionally abused?
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alcoholic, facebook, fell in love, his ex, moved out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2011): He sounds bad news. Do you really need this? He sounds as if he is taking advantage of the depth of feeling he thinks you have for him. Whatever you had as school kids is gone - he's an alcoholic middle-aged man with issues. I'd walk away now and don't look back.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (30 September 2011):
 I'll add weight to the other answers. YES you are being emotionally abused. The question is, now that you know you are, what are you going to do?
You absolutely will never change his drinking habit, you can only save yourself.
If you had been in a long long marriage with the guy, I might suggest getting some support from Al-Anon, but you have only been together for the last year.
Save your money, make a plan and leave. It's not worth saving.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 September 2011):
I think your are being emotionally abused, quite severely. This man clearly has major issues beyond anything that you can help him with, and because of those issues he treats you like dirt. Any man who stands there and uses manipulation and guilt trips to control you simply isn't worth your time. He also won't listen to you, calls you a drama queen and frequently threatens to leave you for one of his ex's.
I'd go one step further than So_Very_Confused and say that you just need to walk away. This man is on a self destruct mission, but he'll destroy you first.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 September 2011):
 You may or may not be emotionally abused but you are involved with an alcoholic and I suggest that you look into something like Al-anon. You cannot fix him. You can only control and take care of yourself.
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