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Am I being cheeky asking him to sacrifice this?

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2008)
A female Ireland age 41-50, *adam writes:

Hey There, can someone help me. My partner and I welcomed a baby boy last week. I am 2 stone overweight since the pregnancy.... His Mam called down this evening with a pressie for him, a floatation, which is basically a relaxation therapy thing and a massage. It will involve him being naked around other women in a confined area... I've blonde hair, blue eyes and I know he loves me, but him naked around other women bothers me.......

He said he'll book it for Thurs and not a 2nd thought about what me and the baby will do when he is gone.

Maybe I'm been cheeky, but I had the baby, where's my pressie?????

Is there any other women out there who would feel the same as me???

I love him and have sacrificied a lot to give him our son, am I being cheeky asking him to sacrifice this??

I feel very alone

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008):

It sounds like you're more caught up with the thought of your husband being naked around other women than the fact that you just had a baby, so let me put your mind at ease by telling you that floatation is a private experience and doesn't involve being naked around anyone. My wife and I ran a floatation center with 4 private rooms with a shower in each room.

A floatation tank is built for individual use, and float rooms are designed for a person to shower, float and shower again in privacy. I recommend you let him go, then recommend that you go another day while he watches the baby.

It's too bad you didn't go float while you were 8 months pregnant - floating is very invigorating and does wonders for back pain and sore muscles. Whether you're pregnant or not, you'll really enjoy it.

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A female reader, Madam Ireland +, writes (11 November 2008):

Madam is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your reply. I do trust him, but as I said I sacrificied a lot to give him a son.. I will admit I am insecure at times, but doesn't everybody get like that at some stage.

I do get on with his family, but he tends to drop everything as soon as they call.

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A female reader, brandieannette United States +, writes (11 November 2008):

I think you should talk to him about it. The most important thing is communication, and he may be thinking of it completely differently. Let him know how you're feeling, and maybe make some time for yourself (if that's possible with a baby) while he's gone. Treat yourself, if his Mommy's going to treat him.

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A male reader, wickyricky United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2008):

hey congrats on the birth i no im a fela but i can see what u mean i wouldnt fell hapy if i was in the same postion as you. ok u say you love himbut do u trust him its hard to bulid up trust im sure there are millions of thoughs running threw your mind about this thing he is going to do just sit him down and talk to him about the whole thing tell him your not happy with it and if he loves you he will respect what your saying the last thing you need after having the child is wories so just tell him whats rong ..good luck let me no what hapens

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (11 November 2008):

Teacake agony auntDoes his mother know about the naked women? That's a very mean-spirited thing to do if she is aware of that.

He is being highly insensitive and selfish if he goes! He is a married man with a child and has no business hanging around naked women. You need to ask someone you know who has a good way with communication skills to find out a way to approach him without making him angry. He knows what he is doing is wrong.

I'm not sure if you should ask him why his mother would do that, does she not like you? If she knows about the girls, that's a hostile thing. I wish I had some advise about how to deal with this, but no, you are not cheeky at all!!!!

If he needs to relax ask him to go to a male masseuse or some place very professional and that you would enjoy that as well being you're body has been though quite a lot having given birth.

There's a way to approach it so it works for you both. Just don't let it turn into an argument. There is a way, I just don't know how.

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