A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:this may sound mad for me to be asking this but here goes. I was fixed up on a blind date with my friends nephew, he is 31, well after texing for a few days and exchanging pictures we met. We really hit it off big time and were up till 2 in the morn, and exchanged a few kisses. He ask to see me again on the tuesday, then again on the thursday then again on the sunday. We really got on, but then after the sunday the texting slowed down to the point where I was initiating contact. We spoke one eve and I mentioned about getting tog again, he said he was free on the friday, but I wasnt, so he said maybe wed or thurs, but did not know how late he would finish work. So i left it I had given him enough rope. well after that tues conversation, he didnt text me again. And me not being stupid, realised he had lost interest. So sent him a message saying it was lovely getting to know you and if nothing else hope we can be friends and keep in touch, he responded by saying. Yes lets keep in touch sorry ive been busy at work last few days,then ask what I was up to over the weekend. Anyway we have keot in touch as friends by text,but its always initiated by me then his aunty my friend saw him and said sorry things didnt work out between you and ...., as in me. And he said its not that it didnt work out its just im so busy at the moment moving and with work. so she suggested I text and ask him out for a drink as mates. Well I did, I also said in the text, fancy meeting for a drink as friends, I understand if you seeing someone that might be awkward for you, but let me know. Well he has not responded to that message. Why? why not say, yes am seeing someone,sorry it would be tricky, or say sure but im busy still at mo, and fob me off. Why just no response at all. I sent that message this morning its now early evening. Am I being a complete idiot thinking this guy has any interest? why do I feel he does? I think Im one of these dimwits clinging on to hope. Just shame he wont just meet as friends because ont hting I have done through all of this is show no signs of desperation, or over keeness, he has a child I have 3 so he knows Im not looking for marrige or kids. Also he know Im busy with my friends alot as often when we texting im out. he has no pressure, so why the deathly silence ????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): You may not realise, but you are actually pressuring him by texting him at all. Just saying you want to see him as friends is pressure and reading between the lines, he probably knows you want more, so he is passively avoiding you.By texting him about him possibly seeing someone else, your pressuring him again. He may very well be seeing someone, or maybe not, but he will assume its none of your business. Men seldom want to be cruel, but they do change their minds a lot. They will avoid the truth and make every excuse in the book to not hurt someone directly. They are the masters of deception and illusion (and of course it never hurts to have a few females stringing along to boost the ego) It is their nature and they cannot help it.
He probably really enjoyed your company and now wishes to make his exit. Let him go. Decide for yourself that he's not for you and a friendship would be pointless. A man who really wants you would go through hell and high water to reach you. Waiting for someone who doesnt really want to know is a waste of your good and precious time.
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