A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm hoping you can give me some advice or even help me get my heart and brain around me and my partner...It will be 2 years this month for our relationship, we should still be in our honeymoon stage wouldn't you think..I feel unworthy,ugly, not attractive i guess my list could go on..My partner and i fit like a glove, we laugh, we play, we have deep conversations, we kiss we cuddle..he's someone who is my best Friend and i know he feels that way about me..could we only be best friends, because i have been turned down one to many times to make any attempt for my partner to make love to me..I have spoke to him about this in a gentle way and how it makes me feel..he convinces me its not me, but how many times can i be told that! - without feeling that he is not attracted to me?..at the beginning of our relationship we took it very slow and he introduced me to tantra sex, what a beautiful experience that made me feel worthy and alive again after many abusive relationships..i was really starting to feel like a goddess. In two years i can probably count the number of times we made love, and it's not the sex, its about feeling each other as one.. for the first time in my lifeI'm 50 years old... my partner who is also 50.His longest relationship is me and he has had some relationships that lasted 4 months and then nothing for years...We both wanted a healthy relationship because of our past mistakes on what is really love is about..Gosh I'm still learning and I've had long term relationships, but they were very unhealty...Is it because he has been alone with himself too long, to see what its like to be two people loving each other other in sexual ways that scares him.He loves to kiss and cuddle then it's good night.We don't live together, so it's not like we see each other continuously. I guess I'm having a hard time being unloved that way. Am i selfish for wanting to be touched and loved especially when everything we do is out of love and respect for each other..I am slowly sinking back into my self of being so lonely for that human touch. i'm sorry for this long Post but I'm searching for possible answers...There are only so many times that you partner gives you a loving kiss and then says good night sexy girl and turns his back on me....I love I'm, but is it enough i ask myself..please help i do not want to loose this special relationship but i don't really know how much i can live without being totally in a complete loving relationship...sad and very confuse and very very lonely... sincerely heartbroken.. thank you for any incites.....
View related questions:
best friend, heartbroken, unloved Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tam elaichi  +, writes (7 April 2011):
Dear Female, You are just fine and its absolutely normal to expect more than a kiss and a cuddle from your very much loved partner. At initial stage of any relationship love making is required to enhance the bond between the two. His refusal to make love to you is his inner response towards result of his past failed relationships and trust me, you are his longest woman and he is not doing it because he does not want to lose you!
Talk to him again. Tell him no matter what goddesslike way he keeps you, sex is important to maintain a relationship in a long run and this supressed unfulfilled desire may turn you out of love for him SOON Cheer up, I am sure he wont want to lose you for this!
A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (7 April 2011):
I think you should approach to him and talk about your feelings.
I know that it feels like. You give a lot of affection, and you barely get a kiss back. And you crave for something more.
It takes two for a tango. By talking calmly with him, he might realize the amount of affection you need.
I really don't see why he refrains from loving you more. He might have some fears he has not talked you about.
You both are all grown up. You probably don't care much about career/kids anymore since you are probably more stable, so you are on a different level now. You can fully give each other because there will probably will be no consequences. Also, although I haven't had Tantric sex, it looks like a very good idea.
...............................
|
