A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a bf, and ive cheated on him 2wice. he doesnt know about it. but both times, it wasnt just sex. with the first guy we had had feelings for each other for years and when i was visiting home him and i ended up sleeping together and having this wierd kind of relationship.i started to have serious feeling for him, but when i went back to my bf, he broke off our thing and we agreed it was for the best. i had broken up with my current bf and when i first did i slept with the same guy again but it didnt feel the same, so this time i said i only wanted to be his friend. well now im back together with my bf but we are doing the ld thing, lately he has been ignoring the majority of my calls and only rele calls me back for like 5 minutes. he seems more detatched and keeps going back and forth with wether or not he thinks this will work. plus i kno hes been hanging out with his ex gf a lot lately, and hes been sort of hiding it, by conveniently leaving out her name when he talks about his day. so recently i met this new guy, and we just really clicked. we've been hanging out for a little bit now just as friends and he knows about my bf and all of our drama. so last night i went to a party with him and were kind of flirty. then we went back to his place to hang out b4 i went home and we ended up hooking up, we didnt sleep together but we went pretty far. the whole time i felt this intense connection and he said he did too. this new guy rele likes me i think. and i rele like him, however i dont want to hurt my bf again, and i still love him so much, but now im really attracted (and def not just physically) to this new guy. there are times when i think i want to marry my bf in the future, but there are other times when all he does is make me cry for hours straight. and now that we are far apart, i have someone else picking up the pieces for me. idk how i can love my bf as much as i do and at the same time feel such a connection with someone else. am i cheating on him because im lonely? because i miss my bf and want attention from someone who is around? well no that second one cant be it, because these guys arents just random guys, ive had other guys like me too, theyr great but i blow them off. am i just confused? or am i just a straight up bad person who keeps hurting guys left and right with my indecision? am i just a whore? none of my friends or family really like my bf, so they all encourage me to find someone else, so i have no one to really give me a straight answer about this. so if anyone here could that would be awesome. :) thanks
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female
reader, hillbillyash  +, writes (30 October 2009):
As long as you can read it,i dont see the problem???? im crap at spelling and writing in genral and i owen my own business(cant affect ya that bad then hey),but you came on here and asked for advice on a RELATIONSHIP not spelling,capitalization and paragraphs :\ ANYWAY....you get nobheads like,that there has to be so meny lol hope everything works out for you what ever you do :0)
A
female
reader, gilgirl20 +, writes (29 October 2009):
It seems like you and your bf needs a break from each other. If you really love him and he really loves and if you guys are meant to be then you will find yourselves back together again. I don't think being with someone else while you have a bf is right, but you really can't help how you feel. At the same time though, you should tell your bf the truth. I found out the hard way by staying with my bf and having feelings for someone else. It just never ends up good. We talked about it and just decided to go different ways but still remain friends. After almost 2 years we got back together and I just feel like it was the best decision ever. Being true with your bf helps you also be true to yourself and just feel better about yourself. I hope this helps you a little!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all, I am sorry my punctuation sucks so badly but I don't really think about it when I’m typing out my problems and worries. and secondly, I do thank you all for your honest answers. they gave me a lot of insight from a lot of different perspectives. its kind of like listening to my own conscience. yes things have happened to me in my past involving men, sex, abuse, and heartbreak. however as much as it seems like I don't have a moral code, I don't believe I should use my past as an excuse for what I’m doing now. I think you are all right in that I should be single for a while. I just don't know how to go about it. thanks again for all the help :)P.S. i hope the grammar and spelling is more to everyones liking this time. i apologize for any mistakes. and also to people like OldGuy i can take harsh criticizm however unless you are really going to provide input i'd appreciate you keeping you're other opinions to yourself thanks :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 October 2009):
 I would say you just aren't ready for any committed relationship. Why not give yourself a break from men for awhile and take a few English classes?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009):
Buried inside your lack of paragraphing, punctuation, misspelling you try to pull a logic trick. You are either a whore or confused. No other choice is even possible. And since you arent taking money you arent a whore and just you must just be 'rele' confused. Whee! Who can blame you for being confused.
You cant go through life jumping in bed with any one who you feel this "intense connection with" and "rele likes me i think".
Stop being a ditzy girl stereotype and use your brain. If you end up in bed with someone, its because you made the choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): No, you're not a whore, you just act like one. You obviously have very loose morals, you seem to screw someone at the drop of a hat, just by telling yourself it's more than just sex. And while you're still in a relationship.
You're kidding no-one but yourself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 October 2009):
Of course you're not a whore, or a bad person or anything like that. I would say that you're pretty unhappy though. I'll address few things.
First of all the relationship wth your boyfriend seems well and truly over. He doenst' seem all that into you anymore, and I would suggest that because you cheated on him, you know deep down that he wasn't really the guy for you.
You may be right about being lonely. I wonder if you're doing this because you need to feel accepted, or you do feel lonely and unappreciated, or maybe your confidence is so low that you think the only way to feel good is to be with other guys? Has something happend to you in your past that makes you feel this way?
My advice to you is to split from your boyfriend first, because this isn't a great relationship and I think it's done as you say, becauase you don't want to be alone. I think you woul be far better staying single and addessing the issue of your unhappiness, rather than going out with this other guy just yet. Really focus on yourself and well being at the moment, rather than go out with another guy, and perhaps still have these feelings. Give yourself some time and love. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Why would you ever call yourself a whore?Are you behaving like a whore? Im not going to judge you, you know that how you are behaving is not going to lead to long term happiness so its time you took control and made the changes to your life that will affect your happiness. What are these changes, well onluy sleep with someone you love and whom youve got a chance of being with long term. That narrows the field, well yeah it should, how can you expect to feel special if you dont value yourself?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): you are not a whore yet but maybe perceived as a bit too easy.if this is what you are becoming you need to find out the cause and look for a solution. a bad reputation sticks to you even when you mature years later.
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A
female
reader, hillbillyash +, writes (28 October 2009):
hiya right straight answer...
NO you are not a whore,you at a age where your mind and body is sexualy active and you cant controll your feelings.us women suffer with this alot lol,i know you say you love your BF but is it love or just the fact you feel sorry for him?? i would dump your BF stay single for a wile have some fun and get to know a boy before you say yes to being in a relationship dont wish your life away.But to be really honest with you,your prob going to have this for some time,you brkin peoples hearts having yours broken ECT ECT.if i was you id kiss a few frogs(but be carfull of corse)and have a bit of single lady fun (but dont hand it out like fuge cake)and id forget about relationships,yeah its nice to have someone say they love u and nice to have that someone to hook up with when all ya friends are busy lol (joke)but at you age ya dont want to be stressin your self out with all this,really??
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): I saw the title, and thought I might have something to say. But the absence of capitalization and paragraphs made it not worth wading through your post. My kudos to the mod for trying to figure out your question.
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